SHARED CARE MENTAL HEALTH PROBLEMS

[blanki]

The pain just doesnt ever get any easier. My little bOy spends his time between mummy and daddy. I feel like we might as well take an arm each, pull and see what happens. I dont believe xp has any idea what he is doing to such a small child, he's not a fashion accessory for pulling down the park. I had a hard time some years ago, quite serious mental health problems. Still in the midst of court proceedings, fighting his vicious lies. It feels like I'll never be allowed to leave this very difficult and traumatic part of my life behind. After treatment, I am now working with others who have 'had a hard time' I really love it, and I hope I can make even just a little difference. But, I ache when my little boy isnt with me. I spent so long not going out, fearing daddy would just push him past me in the pram like I was invisible, again. Or, dread seeing other young mums out in the sunshine and happy. Now, I have him most of the time and I love him so much and I think he is secure with that. Although I cant deny Im still finding this hard, I do have a message of hope! Expect recovery from mental health problems, just as you would from an ear infection! Seriously though, these terrible things we sometimes feel and terrible things we sometimes do to ourselves as a result, are symptoms. They dont make us bad people. When I find myself feeling a little sorry for myself, I do a reality check. Im still alive, and I lost people close to me on this journey. Funny I started this so angry, now I feel kind of humble. If you feel like you are battling the stigma of mental ill health, please share? Sorry this is so long, thanks for listening.

[OverRated]

Blanki -this sounds a bit like my situation. I can't say much on here but my DS shares his time between me & ex and it is heartbreaking. I've had very serious mental health problems (I was hospitalised) and are in the midst of court proceedings too.

You can CAT me if you want to talk.

[blanki]

OverRated, good morning! Glad to hear Im not on my own, in a wierd kind of way!? Yeah, also spent long periods in hospital, not recently thankfully. Hate to show how dumb I am, but what is CAT? never guess Im new to this eh? Take care

[magnolia74]

Not exactly the same but I had severe pnd and did some stupid things all of which are now biting me it the backside at the sufference of my poor dh

I did share the kids with dh when we were seperated and it was heartbraking, back together now but it still breaks my heart to think of what they went through

[blanki]

Feel a bit isolated and could do with some kind of chat with someone who might understand. Had mild pnd, but the most obvious problems were anorexia and deliberate self-harm. Other stuff was more invisible, but like I said there is definetely hope.

[OverRated]

Blanki - I have had problems with all of those things... CAT is contact a Mumsnetter - if you click on the envelope to the right of my name - then you can send me a message...

I know how horrible it is to go through all of those things - it can be good to have someone to chat too...

Take good care,

B x

[Janos]

Blanki and OverRated, couldn't read your stories (well not stories, YKWIM) and not post.

I have been through much the same, hospitalised with severe PND, other mental health issues and now separated from my DS's dad.

We share joint custody (which I bloody well fought for) and I know exactly what you mean when you talk about your heart aching when your DS isn't there. That's exactly how I feel.

It's so tough, isn't it?

[blanki]

Janos, I really had to fight as well. Talk about having to justify your own existance. I hope that you are recovering well and I guess that we are painfully aware just how special and precious all the moments are, and just wish we could be there to do the job we signed up for. OverRated, will sign up for CAT {!} tomorrow and be in touch. Anyone else? Think we should support each other....... take care

[PurpleOne]

Sending gentle hugs blanki.

I've been hospitalised too for numerous suicide attempts...now disgnosed with bi polar.
My exH and his dw love it as it sonmething to pick on me about. We've only been divorced for 7 years...as soon as I know I'm back on a downer again..he refuses to take the kids for some respite.

Don't mean to say I love my kids any less.

Take good care x

[OverRated]

I'm glad a few more people have posted on this - it's good to know we are not alone.

I don't want to write any details under this name - I'll try to name change and pop back.

The original post is right - when I remind myself that I am still alive, it is quite amazing . My baby has a mother. And I am a good one. I hate that I have to prove it to other people every single day.

[Janos]

"when I remind myself that I am still alive, it is quite amazing"

Seconded. In fact, I second your entire post OverRated! I feel constantly judged but when I'm with my DS and I can see how happy and settled he is then all that just doesn't matter. He is totally worth every awful thing I've been through over the last 2 years.

And..really, life is getting better just about every day, for both of us. That's something to celebrate I think.

Def up for CATting

[OverRated]

I started this thread to remind myself of what I have to be thankful for.

Anyone, please feel free to CAT me. There isn't always a great deal of support for us and even when things are going well, it is good to know that other people understand.

Take good care of yourselves

[blanki]

OverRated, well done you for so much positive thinking and sharing it with others! At present I am doing V work to try and enable other women/mothers to be more confident and secure with themselves to share and deveoep themselves. Sounds shit, but I so want others like me, inc me, to rejoin society, and be allowed. Cant CAT at the moment, but will asap. Totally understand, but saddened at my own lack of total honesty in this space. Can only assume it is the same for others. Feel angry that mums can rant about issues that they did not choose and I still feelshame re something that I did not choose. Involved in recovery group, if you would like details please contact me. So adamant that we dont deserve this and should EXPECT RECOVERY. Take care