Why am I so jealous when my ex husband has a good social life

[Shout]

I thought I was coming to terms with my seperation. We agreed to split in July 07. Although he initiated it, after the shock and sadness etc I agree its for the best.Its been quite amicable.Due to financial circumstances we need to still live in the same house until July 08. As nobody else is involved we have agreed no dating until we move on next year.

However I get so jealous and bitter when my ex goes away for the weekend to meet up with friends ( yes there are girls in the group)yet I feel sorry for him when he is around as he doesn't have any local friends.

I have come along way through the stages of emotions anybody have any advice on overcoming this last bit.

[Tinkerbel5]

you need to make a clean break is there any possible way you can do it sooner ? dont be jealous of him making the most of his new singleton status as I recon in time he will be jealous of you and your stability, there is more to life than beer and bars and having cuddles and kisses off your children is priceless.

[Shout]

Yes you are right, I will get the benefits of being with the children more. I can't leave earlier as we are overseas and I need to wait until my oldest son finishes his year at school before returning to the UK. My ex husband has to stay as well as we are all attached to his work visa.

Still I should just be thankful for what I have, some people on this site are really suffering but I think I am getting over it and then I find out some info I dont like to hear and it cuts straight to the heart and I get all weepy.

[skeletonbones]

Be kind to yourself. Living with your ex when you are separated must be very tricky and you are doing really well to keep it amicable for the childeren. Your bound to feel weepy when his social life is 'in your face' as it were. As you still live together your bound to hear things you would rather not, and that makes the moving on bit much more difficult for you than if you were living seperately and wouldn't find out things IYSWIM, there will be more trigger moments for you to realise he is moving on and to miss the life you had as a couple.

[snotbuster]

Can you make the best of the situation by getting out yourself, whilst he's still there to babysit? It might not be as easy when you're living apart. I do empathise, the emotions of splitting up don't run a logical course!

[MeMySonAndI]

I really don't know what it is preventing you from living in separate places (well, I supose I do) but, if you can, even if the move is not easy or bring some economic difficuties, try to get a way to leave separated.

Living together may allow you to keep the status quo for a while but put in a balance the pain that this is causing you against the difficulties caused by living separated, and choose the one that is less painful.

If you need to stay in, find something that allow you out of the house while he is in, or... stop talking about his social life at home.

[AMAZINWOMAN]

can you take the kids away for the occasional weekend?

[Gizmo100]

Shout - this must be a difficult time for you. My husband announced that he was leaving me but then stayed in the house for 2 months just to be awkward. He got out more than me because he is oblivious to the damage he has caused where I was still very much in love with him. I also envied him going out although he didnt say where he was going. I thought he had someone new but that isnt the case and I think thats true. The way I coped was (although I know its not practical) is when he is in at night keep in sepearte rooms - I was in the kitchen and he was in the living room. If at all possible get him to babysit whilst you go out even if its to meet friends, cinema, a night class. I felt this helped me cope better and start to accept things. My neighbour joked that as one car came in the drive the other left. If he is away at the weekend as someone suggested you go away with your children or if you can go out on a Saturday get a friend to babysit the kids - it will make the world of difference.

My husband has now moved out now and now I dont have a live in babysitter so make the most of your time now!!!

I still love my husband very much but would never ever take him back so I have accepted that I must move on with my life for my sanity and my daughter.

Chin up.

Gizmo100

[Shout]

I have booked to go to Marrakech with a friend for 4 nights end of Nov. I can't wait. My ex is currently in Miami so I figured if he can have time away so can I although I know I'll miss my children.

I guess am hoping he'll feel jealous or if not at least he'll have some hard work looking after the kids and working.

Any sensible advice I should head whilst I am away!!