Anyone else having a "bad mummy" day?

[BernieBear]

Sorry, this is just a rant really, but sometimes I get just so pi$$ed off with being the bad parent. Ds has come back from his Dad going through the whole I want to go back to Daddy's/I don't like you/You are always cross scenario - this I understand and I know is quite normal - but sometimes it drives me mental.

Why oh why is it all so unfair. I'm the one who has to do the disciplining/school runs/washing/toilet training/ironing/tantrums/cooking healthy foods/etc whilst trying to run my own business which I started so that ds would not have to go into childcare.

Yet his father gets all the best times/toys/adoration/isn't Daddy wonderful stuff.

I'm fed up with motherhood, completely and utterly fed up. (I do so love my ds (3.5) but really don't like him at the moment iyswim).

Anyone else want to join the "bad mother day"????

[claricebeansmum]

Had my fair share of those.

DD is very good at trips to cinema, meals at Pizza Express etc and I get the homework and nagging.

I reckon you are just about at the worst age for this. My children are now a lot older and they so appreciate what I do at home - it's lovely!

[citylover]

You have my sympathies. I have just had the weekend from hell with my two they are two DS aged 11 and 6 and as they have got older they just fight all the time when they are together. I am worried that one of them will end up seriously injured which means I have to be on hand or within earshot to intervene.

Ex H and I are in agreement that something should be done but he still has the luxury of cherry picking when he sees them, despite my trying to pin him down to a regular routine again recently. He uses withdrawal of his visits (=affection) to try to discipline them but this just serves to inflame the situation. And stated last night that he really didn't think he could take both of them on holiday together as he has promised. ANd acts like they should be grateful for him coming around/taking them out. I can't count how many times recently I have said to him for god's sake you are their father FFS!

Sorry for hijacking/ranting a bit but your post struck a chord with me. I can't work out whether their increased fighting is a delayed reaction to our separation (which was Aug 06) or 'just boys'/normal behaviour (as some say) but I do think that DS1 has inherited my exH's temper. And we need to seek help about this and possibly the aftermath of separation/divorce.

For the first time in 11 years I have had feelings of hating being a mother/feeling quite pessimistic about the future (not like me at all) and I just can't believe that I am thinking this way. Maybe it's more common than we admit!! So my sympathy goes out to you.

[bitsnbobs]

Yes, my two boys got back from their dads and were running round the house like mad things. They are fine all week and become terrors on Saturday and Sunday nights (just when i have got back from work tired).Its like they save all their pent up energy from their dad telling them not to do things and let it all out when they get home.

I am totally fed up with him never having them over night whereas he can come and go as he pleases (bitter emotion). I get up early every day of the week and when their dad had to get up early for ONE morning to pick them up he overslept and I was late for work .

Hopefully it will improve as they all get older!

[alittleone2]

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[BernieBear]

Sorry it's been a few hours. Thanks for all the replies, and I am sorry that there are others out there having a bad mummy day too. If anything it makes me realise that the "bad" days would be worse if there were two!

The day ended up with a massive showdown where upon I put him in his room and left him to shout and kick on his own. Shouting he didn't want to live here. (and quite frankly I agreed with him )

Ten minutes later he had calmed down and seemed to feel much better - even to the point he said he was sorry and that he loved me

Clarice - thanks for the light at the end of the tunnel feeling

Citylover and bitsnbobs - please rant away - I hope things improve for you both.

.....and a littleone2 - thanks for the stepmum emphasis on the subject (I'm sure my step mum would understand that! - I can honestly say we had our ups and downs but now get on great!) It is good to hear it from the other side - ds's father would never tell me if he get's the same treatment.

Anyway, tomorrow is another day - another rant - and another emotional rollercoaster.

Good luck comrades! x

[alittleone2]

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[ChorusLine]

I think I had a bad mummy weekend...I was having the lounge painted so we were stuck in the kitchen or upsatirs. DS is 23 months and naturally inquisitive and tried everythign he could do to get in the room...at the same time I had 2 friends coming for lunch, they stayed for about 2 hours and just felt that I had spent 2 hours saying no to DS lets do this - lets do that to distract him from the lounge (had safety gate up). It was so frustrating I ended shouting at him telling him I was putting him on e-bay - to which my friends pee'd thier pants laughing at me! Think i needed them to laugh or i would have cried...

DS doesn't see or know his daddy so i don't get a break and sometimes it just gets too much but we had a giggle later on - you may have guessed washing the paint off him as he got in in the end!