Little boy scare of men and CSA for working mums

[GLC]

Hi

A friend has just told me about this site!

I was wondering if any of you out there could give me some advice. I am a single mum with a one year old boy. My little one has now become scared of blokes and whenever any of the dads at nursery go to collect their kids he starts crying. He does not have any contact at all with his dad. All my family live overseas so he has not got male relatives here either. I do not have any male friends and whenever I see my friends who are attached it is generally as mum and kids. Have any of you experienced the same or got any ideas of what I can do to get him used to blokes or do you know of any groups in the northwest where single mums and dads meet up on weekend (I work fulltime).

I do not know of any single mums who are working who get their maintenance if claiming through CSA. Do any of your know anything to the contrary? His dad used to pay up albeit it a few days late each month but was made redundant and it stopped altogether. I heard he has another contract job but as yet no maintenance payments. We have a maintenance agreement but it has an annual review clause in it and clever bugger waited til then to become unemployed so not a lot I can do with that and courts do not go on agreements they make you go through the CSA. The added complication is the fact that not only is he married ? his wife does not know about pour son - so hw would not want CSA involved, but his latest ?bit on the side? works for the CSA and I am worried she may be able to interfere with an application I put in!!!! I know I should be an applicant for Jeremy Kyle show!!!

Any advice you can give me on either of these would be great!
Thanks!
G

[juicychops]

me and my ex had an agreement between ourselves and he stopped paying because he had stopped seeing my ds and thought why should he have to pay for a kid he doesn't see!

i went through csa in September and still waiting for payements to get sorted but by the end of the month it should all be up and running. Csa have tracked him down and put a deduction from earnings order on his wages so his employer have to pay csa who then pay me.

you should go through csa and even if the 'bit on the side' tries to make things difficult, which is probably against the rules to even look at cases you are some way attatched to, there are complaints proceduress you can go through.

I made a complaint and my case has been pushed through fast with a lot of contact from my case worker. so it does pay off.

in regards to the men issue i dont know what to suggest. Maybe start by taking time looking through books and magazines of men with kids and explain daddys are like mummys. (i know he is a bit young to properly understand but might surprise you)

maybe someone will come up with a better idea

[juicychops]

That was meant to say last September!

[fawkeoff]

you should put the claim in regardless they dont all work under one building and if you are bothered asbout the woman then just state to the person who deals with you claim about it....they can actually give you extension numbers so that you can deal with one person.I dont really know what to say to you about your little boy being afraid of men only that as he gets older he will probably relax a bit more.i think its normal for him to be wary of men considering he doesnt really have one to one contact with them like he does with women.IMO hun you shouldn't be protecting you dp, you should be doing what is best for you and your son

[MascaraOHara]

Put a claim in with the CSA.. you may get something you may not but at least you might that way.

[GLC]

Thank you for your advice everyone. I will see if he pays up next week when next payment due and if not I will go to the CSA.