Help me to flirt.............

[muffintop]

Ladies, this is going to sound really sad but I really don't know how to flirt (it has never come natural to me).
Brief history - I am a single mum in early 40s to 2 boys aged 4.5 and 7 and have been single for nearly 3 years.
I just can't flirt, I get really embarrassed and can't do the staring bit and looking away - it does not come naturally to me. When I do go out with friends (they say that guys are looking at me but I am standing there with blinkers on, totally unaware and in a world of my own!)
Seriously though I would like to meet a guy but am not a natural flirter. I can happily talk to guys on a one to one basis but when it gets round to the flirty bit I just get uncomfortable.
I am also very self conscious of my weight, I am a few stones overweight but am about 5 8 tall.
Any tips on how to relax and try and get back in the game before I truly end up on the shelf

[lou33]

a couple of drinks usually helps, as long as you dont get blind drunk!

[flowerybeanbag]

Smile and laugh a lot.
Be riveted by what he is saying.
Cross and uncross your legs if sitting down.
Raise your eyebrows up and down quickly every so often.
Touch your hair.
And feel beautiful, then you will look beautiful.

[foxinsocks]

yes, smiling very important.

I think if you relax and just enjoy the conversation, it will just move on naturally from there?

[lou33]

wear something you feel good in, dont wear something for anyone else

[lou33]

raise your eyebrows?

[foxinsocks]

lol

I know what flowerybeanbag means. But don't do it all at once. Or you'll look like Cupid Stunt .

[flowerybeanbag]

yes, as in a v quick, knowing, raise up and down.

[flowerybeanbag]

yes definitely not all at once

[Jackstini]

Smile, do the 'look away' just for a second then look back
Play with your hair
Reach over and touch his arm
Mirror his body position
Ask him about himself, look interested and remember things he tells you
Find a couple of outfits that you feel great in so you will not have your mind on your appearance
If running out of things to say is an issue, you can get little books/set of cards with 'conversation starters' on. Not to fire 10 one after the other but if you memorise a couple each time you don't need to worry about uncomfortable silences
Get friends to introduce you and have told you a bit about them first so you can ask pertinent questions
Laugh!
Good luck!

[foxinsocks]

also little touches are good if you are keen. Like 'shall I get this round?'

[lou33]

i now have visions of muffin writing this all down on her arm when she goes out, and geting all in amuddle trying to do it all at once


i'd just sit have a drink, chat a bit and get more comfortable with yourself and the guy in question, before you try to do any deliberate flirting

just chat, ask questions and be yourself

when you find a guy you like i think you will find yourself naturally getting more flirtatious

[flowerybeanbag]

ooh yes foxy, gentle touches in an innocent way like that are vv good

[lou33]

i think some people are just aturally mroe flirtatious than others, and you have to find your own level that you are comfortable with

myself i have no shame and can do it for england, but others are not so confident

[foxinsocks]

at flowerbeanbag

your bean bag is lovely and flowery

[flowerybeanbag]

[foxinsocks]

[flowerybeanbag]

[flowerybeanbag]

[flowerybeanbag]

[flowerybeanbag]

[lou33]

visions of basic instinct here

[flowerybeanbag]

[muffintop]

Thanx for all the replies - it all sounds so easy when written down but not so easy to practice - now if it was getting up close and personal with a bottle of wine I'd win gold stars!
Muffintop shuffles off throwing her hair behind her and giggling like a mad thing

[Jackstini]

MT - just mix all the tips with a bottle of wine and you will be fine!

[turquoisenights]

Jackstini,
why?:'look into his eyes and then look away'

why to look away?
i do it sometimes unconscious when i cant dare to look someone's eye if i like them.
so am i a good flirt?