Xp is shite but at the mo they would be so much better off with him

[NuttyMuffins]

Have just shouted so loud the entire county probably heard, smacked ds and told them to put their selves to bed, which they have, dd1 has just tucked ds in.

I am so crap a parent i may aswell give in and let him have a go now.

[LucyJones]

tomorrow is another day...

don't give yourself a hard time , it must be so hard for you xxx

[NuttyMuffins]

But i don't want to do it tommorow or the next day or the day ater that. Ds said he doesn't love me anymore and i don't blame him, i wouldn't love me either.

[colditz]

get ye to a hot both and glass of something throat burning!

[LucyJones]

Have a glass of wine, plan something nice and stress free to do over the weekend and think positive thoughts that once the holidays are over things will be better

[NuttyMuffins]

It's not fine though, i am always shouting, always miserable and always so fucking stressed, and it's not even their fault it's me, i am just crap at everything.

Failing is my theme so this is no surprise to me.

Will ring xp tommorow and ask him if he wants to move back in and i will move out.

[colditz]

Yeah well, ds1 told me he wants to go and live with daddy because daddy lets hiom go to woolworths and buy sweets, and always have noodles for his tea, and let him stay up until 10 o clock etc

Which, apaprt from not being good for any 4 year old, isn't even true!

[NuttyMuffins]

Ds was so upset that i was upset with him and i just ignored him, how awful is that, he was trying to talk to me and i just walked off.

They deserve so much better than me.

[NuttyMuffins]

Yeah I sleep pretty well oddly, normally about 11-7, occasionally gwtting up to ds but not alot anymore.

Sleeping is the only bit of my day i like tbh.

[NuttyMuffins]

I mean what the hell are they gonna be thinking now, lying in there beds after all that shouting and bawling. They think i hate them.

[Malaleche]

Have just looked at your profile, your kids are gorgeous. dont beat yourself up, We are all crap at being parents. Every day i promise myself i wont shout at DD1 or DP or be the bitch i always am, every night i sit down with the bingeware - chocolate and MN - and think, well, i'll start again tomorrow.....
It's a fucking hard job.

[NuttyMuffins]

No, nothing at all Fio, looked into joining a gym earlier but nearly fell off my chair at the price and tbh i wouldn't go cos couldn't go on my own.

Even looked at learning to play an instrument but again too expensive.

[Dior]

Message withdrawn

[NuttyMuffins]

I do that every night Malaleche and every day within 5 minutes i have broken all the rules i set the night before.


I just so hate every single minute of my life, from the minute i get up to the minute i fall asleep.

[Malaleche]

wait another 5 mins and then go up and give them a cuddle, apologise for shouting but dont make excuses, tell them you love them, dont get weepy, just ask them what theyd like to do tomorrow and try and do it.....

[Greensleeves]

No, they wouldn't be better off with him!!

FWIW I fucked up bedtime tonight too. I was tired and in a bad mood, and ds1 was smirking and sniggering and refusing to co-operate, adn ds2 was being defiant. They went to bed under a rather large cloud too . And I had dh to help, but I was in such a minging mood I elbowed him out of the way and buggered it up all by myself.

Everyone has crap days, shit bedtimes, temporary blow-ups etc. Of course your ds loves you. They all say they don't sometimes.

((((rather ginger hug))))

[NuttyMuffins]

No not taking anything, don't really want to, people think i cope, i don't want them knowing i don't.

I just constantly feel like i am trying so hard to make things better and i end up falling so far backwards every single day.

[NuttyMuffins]

Can't go up now, am blubbing too much, will probabably scare them.

Thanks for the hug Greeny

[Dior]

Message withdrawn

[Malaleche]

lower your expectations to just above the reality - for example, its ok to get angry but try to count to 10 and not shout. Actually i find counting helps in general, i often give dd1 3 or 5 seconds to do something and she'll race to do it before i reach 3 or 5, after refusing or dawdling endlessly. dont know your story but you do sound depressed, i had pnd after dd2 was born and i felt like you describe.

[NuttyMuffins]

Yep he is, all day Tues and Thurs, and I do go out a bit then, normally shopping with my mum or food shopping or something, but nothing that i would particularly like to do.

He starts school in sept and i have done bugger all with him on his days off.

[Greensleeves]

I take ADs too, have done for years. And so do quite a lot of my outwardly together, completely-coping friends. It's not a stigma any more I don't think.