Well he's finally done it

[twinniemum]

hes left, he has been umming and ahhing about it all week, leading me into a sense of false security and dropping me again. Still says its for the same reasons - he doesnt want to argue, he says things will probably be fine for a couple of months then we'll be back here again (here being where? where he cant 'cope') he said he was worried about telling me cause he thought i'd be bitter, i said i'm angry how do you expect me to be? he wouldnt have been happy if i'd said oh ok yes go. I still think he's gone because he's been staying at work and been by himself and seen what life he could have. he said thats not true, i also beleive he has feeling for someone at work although he strongly denys it but he would wouldn't he? and even if maybe he doesnt realise it himself you just know by the way a he speaks about her. and i'm now in bits again a week later than he first told me, and i feel crap. and angry, and yes bitter and used (did i say he slept with me last night) apparently he thought he loved me last night. and this morning, until on his way to work when he changed his mind (again)he had time to think.... so it looks like i'm still having to look for somewhere to live only now its just for me and dt. he siad he will come round on sunday to tell the dt. am sorry for going on so much, just cant face phoning anybody.

[elsieanjoanne]

oh i am sooo sorry!!!
if he is messing with you like that you are probably best without him! and next time he comes running back tell him it was his choice to leave you need to go out talk to your friends/family they will be supportive and probably saw it coming. You can cope by yourself many women do, good luck lots hugs

[Beauregard]

Sorry to hear this

[fransmom]

i'm sorry sweetheart why do so many men treat women like this? i had the same treatment as you sweetheart, a yo-yo man.

[bristols]

I'm sorry, twinnie. You must be feeling dreadful. He sounds like a very confused man. Men are so pathetic sometimes, aren't they? Do you have a best friend/sister/mum you could call? Any of those people would understand if you just called and explained that you didn't want to talk too much. They could come and just be with you and help you with the dt over the weekend.

Don't apologise for 'going on'. That's what MN is here for!

[twinniemum]

i moved miles away from family and friends 11 months ago so my h could change career, we sold our house spent the money on him retraining debts and having to live off it. i have noone here, i have found it difficult making friends, i have mums i talk to at school but no one i could call a friend, i gave everything up for him, but of course he doesnt see it that way. and it was me that encouraged him cause i wanted him to be happy. what a fool.

[elsieanjoanne]

oh so you got no one local to give you hug! soo sad for you. could you call a friend family member? you may need an early night you will run out of steam otherwise!

[twinniemum]

cant face talking to family

[twinniemum]

i doubt it i'm about as far south as you can get

[twinniemum]

as in isle of wight

[elsieanjoanne]

im in WV10 if your close enough for me to lend hand shoulder etc

[elsieanjoanne]

opps thats a bit far dont think my arms long enough as im in west mids sorry xx

[Chattyhan]

Sorry to hear what you're going through - i'm going through a simular thing at the moment but DP hasn't left yet! He's told me he doesn't think he loves me and i'm now just waiting for him to say he's off. My DS is 2.5 and i'm 24wks pregnant so i'm scared how i'll manage too. If you want to talk to someone i'd be happy to email/msn/chat on the phone if you like! xx

[startingover]

Noooo Twinnie - you were trying to make it work, trying to allow him to be happy. You are not a fool. Be proud of having been supportive and caring, even if he walks away. You have done your best and that is a good thing.

Telling people in RL is hard but really worth it for the support, if you can. I am miles from my family and my phone bill is going to be immense but it is helping me get through an ongoing separation.

[pickledpear]

i am in the isle of wight and free all weekend email me [email protected] i am a single mum with usually 3 kids but have none and i am planning a night out tonight if you want to join me maight do you good to let your hair down

[pickledpear]

well actually i am free all the time i have nothing better to do than be on this site lol

[twinniemum]

He came back the weekend and said he'd made a mistake and does want to try and make it work, i feel i owe to dt to try. not sure if things will work out, trying to take one day at a time. He just says he doesnt want to argue anymore, or bicker. like i want to argue! monday wasn't very nice he was very short tempered which in its self caused bad feeling then at the end of the day he said he wasnt happy that we'd bickered all day!

i cant beleive how amy supportive mumsnetters there are out there, thank you all so much xxxxxxxx

just going to see how it goes.

[pickledpear]

you know why we are all supportive is so many more than you think have or going through this too you just feel like it only you and i am one of those please email me we could meet up in newport for coffee to start with or somewhere more local we may be near to each other [email protected]
please get in touch ok

[twinniemum]

i feel miserable, feel on edge all the time, worrying one minute and fine the next. I really want this to work but am unsure that it will. he used to call me loads during the day, now i'm lucky if he calls once, i called him when i finished work, he answered the phone with "whats wrong?" said he was having his lunch and would call me back in a while. he hasn't. I said to him this morning shall i call you later and he said yes. dont know what the right thing to do is. the more space i give him the more i think maybe i just dont need/want him anymore.

[pickledpear]

can i ask why he stays at work does he work on the mainland? or does he do nights?

[twinniemum]

Hi PP sorry not been able to get on here. He works on the mainland, wasn't able to find a job here.
Had a crap weekend again, he is staying at work for a couple of days, again. Not even sure what I want anymore. Think maybe its past saving. Just dont know. When do you know its time to give up? When do you stop trying?

[Tinkerbel5]

I think its time to give up when .....

i feel miserable, feel on edge all the time, worrying one minute and fine the next

The above isnt healthy and you cant live like that you will make yourself ill, I think for you and your childrens sanity you have to come to a decision and stick with it, sounds like your partner isnt 100% into it either so its not doing you all any good.

[RachelG]

I agree with Tinkerbel. It sounds like he's making you miserable. I think most of us single Mums go through a bad phase when we split, but come out the other side feeling loads happier, often wishing we'd done it sooner!

[BernieBear]

Hi there, I don't live on the island but live just outside Southampton. If you and PickledPear fancy meeting up let me know. Am also single mum with ds 3.2. Hope things become clearer for you soon. x