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Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Lone parents

Should i 'grass' my ex as a benefits cheat?

17 replies

persephonesnape · 15/05/2007 10:03

My ex and I have been separated for around seven years. We have three children aged 11,9 & 7. he left me for someone else, then left her with a son

OP posts:

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expatinscotland · 15/05/2007 10:07

I don't believe in 'karma'. It's a load of bollocks. Look at all the mega-rich people out there who got that way by being scumbags and treating people like shit.

I'd grass him because what he is doing is illegal.

And what pisses me off about benefits cheats is that they're are taking money that could go to someone else who needs it more AND they give people who are on benefits who really need them a bad rep.

littlemissbossy · 15/05/2007 10:09

If he's claiming benefits that he's not entitled it, he's breaking the law and it's wrong.
However, you are contemplating 'grassing him up' on the basis of your own jealousy. Although it may make you feel better when you get revenge for how he's treated you, it ultimately won't help your children IMO. I also doubt very much that he will see it as an incentive to get a job, it will just put additional strain on his new relationship.
Sorry, but you need to move on.

GiantSquirrelSpotter · 15/05/2007 10:09

I'd grass him because he deserves it.

No compassion from me in this type of case.

expatinscotland · 15/05/2007 10:10

Personally I think what would help your children more is limiting contact with this man.

I wouldn't trust him to look after the kids properly, tbh.

GiantSquirrelSpotter · 15/05/2007 10:11

And grassing him won't have any ill effects on your children.

Who cares if it screws up his relationship? His problem.

GameGirly · 15/05/2007 10:11

Grass him. He's a fraudulent, cheating scumbag and his thieving is depriving someone else. Sounds like you don't owe him a thing.

LadyTophamHatt · 15/05/2007 10:14

i';d grass him.

mmelody · 15/05/2007 10:30

I grassed my ex. He was living with his new partner and her daughter and bragging that she was getting tax credits as a single mum still while being an arse about making child support payments for our DD (Idiot).

I rang the benefits fraud helpline (anonymous) and gave them all the details I knew. It felt very liberating and they were really professional taking the information. At the end of the conversation I asked if she wanted to know who I was.... she replied that she didn't... but could take a guess who I was!!

It took a while but about 4 months later I got a shirty phone call from him asking if I was happy with myself...

Do it!!!!

persephonesnape · 15/05/2007 10:35

I can't really define 'moving on'. I like his new gf and everything, I think i feel a level of not-quite 'responsibility' towards him because flawed as he is, he is the father of my children. I accept I can't wave a magic wand and make him non-alcoholic, and as my parents split when i was young and I never saw my father I can't accept that denying him contact because of his alcoholism is acceptable either - is a drunk father better than no father at all? Because his gf is sober when the children are there I don't think that they are in any danger when they are at his house.

think I'd be going with the 'grassing' though. irrespective of my ex-realtionship with my childrens dad, it is morally wrong to benefit cheat.

OP posts:

expatinscotland · 15/05/2007 10:39

HE is the one screwing up his relationship by continuing to abuse drink and be a cheat.

Grass him.

BarryScott · 15/05/2007 10:47

Yes... Grass him!!!

GiantSquirrelSpotter · 15/05/2007 12:16

persephone fwiw my ex is an alcoholic and doesn't see his children.

His choice - he's never made the effort. Although I'm furious about it for my children's sake (they really ought to have the right to have a relationship with their father), otoh it relieves me of the necessity of an argument. There is simply no way I would leave my children overnight in the care of an alcoholic, even if he is their father. If he had a sober girlfriend whom I knew would look after the kids, then fine, that's different, but alone - no chance.

persephonesnape · 15/05/2007 12:20

Giant SS, i know. it's a worry because i rely on her and it's really not her responsibility.

OP posts:

divastrop · 15/05/2007 12:38

i grassed up my ex after i found out that he didnt have to pay maintenance as according to the csa he was unemployed.i knew for a fact he had a job so i reported him.

that was 5 years ago and they never did anything about it,hes never been asked to pay anything by the csa.

so i would say,yes,grass him up,i just hope they actually do something about it!

quietmouse · 15/05/2007 12:55

yes, definately. Don't think about it anymore - just do it.

GiantSquirrelSpotter · 15/05/2007 13:29

divastrop no point reporting him to the csa. You could be a millionaire and not be chased by those wankers. The DWP or the Inland Revenue on the other hand...

luciemule · 15/05/2007 13:32

Definitely grass him up - we're all paying our taxes just so that people like your ex can take it easy. At least it might make him get a job and take some responisibility.

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