So I'm getting taken to court - what happens next?

[choccybickie]

I've posted a few times on this thread so many of u will know my situation. Basically I allow my son's father unlimited access at my house (which he has NEVER taken up) and 3 hours a week where he takes him away to his parents house. My son is only 5 months old and this is the amount of time I feel comfortable with him being away from me. Last week his father refused to bring him home leaving me in total despair until he finally arrived with him 20 mins late. I feel that I've lost any trust I had in him and would prefer supervised visits from now on.

However, I received word today that he is taking me to court so he can have him overnight every wednesday and all day every sunday. Will they give him this? I'm so worried and upset right now I don't know what to do

[NoodleStroodle]

Choccy - I have no experience of this so am sending hugs instead.
Good luck [hugs][hugs]

[Aloha]

I really doubt it, tbh. I can understand your being upset. If he's not breastfed he might get some Sunday contact, but not overnight - at least I hope not.

[choccybickie]

I already give him contact for 3 hours on alternate saturdays and sundays am I not being fair for a baby so young?

[MrsWho]

This is the one who turns up in a car full of mates?

[Rosasmum]

I think your offer of unlimited access at your house shows that you are trying to give your ex every opportunity of building/having a relaiotnship with your son. Keep a record of any contact and communication, it may come in handy later.

I went to see a Solicitor recently to find out exactly how I stand regardiing my daughter and contact with her Father. He has PR and has not behaved very responsibly at all. Tried to 'buy time', threatened to stop any maintenance if I didn't agree to his contact requests and generally tried to bully me. The Solicitor said that neither parent has a right to see their child, they have a responsibilty towards their child. It is the child who has right to be brought up by both its parents. However, it was his opinion that no court would say that my 9month old would have to be on her own with him straight away. He has seen her 6 times in 3 months. He also said that if he took me to court for access, (which like you, I have never denied him), the process could take 6months.

I do not think that a court will decide that a 5month old should have overnight stays, I am pretty sure that a court wouldn't decide that until the child is at least 1, and then their decison would take all previous contact or lack of into consideration.

I can appreciate how upsetting this is but try not to let it affect your time with your Son.

[choccybickie]

it is yeah

[Rosasmum]

Forgot to say - go and see a Solicitor, you can get the first 30minutes of a consultation free, if you are on benefits then you may be eligible for aid and if not there are law centres that can help you and aren't expensive.

Good luck

[hatwoman]

I don;t have experience of this either but you sound completely reasonable. I agree that you should go and see a solicitor - or CAB as a starting point. good luck

[glitterfairy]

My kids are much older but we are in our second year of court battles. It is a horrible process and divides people even more bitterly than when they started out. My X who was offered a great deal in the divorce wouldnt accept it and has ended up with less than I offered at first because the kids are old enough to say for themselves.

[choccybickie]

The contact that he already has has been agreed through our solicitors. I think court has to be an end to this because I've offered him so much but its never enough. Not sure how he's going to manage any more access because he can't even stick to the days and hours he has already - he always has other plans and needs to rearrange things

[choccybickie]

Also what is the deal if u were never with the father as a couple let alone married - I just wanted him to be involved for my son

[Harra]

Hi, sorry for your situation but from what you have said your son's father will get nowhere fast. Horrible to have the threat of court looming over you. My xp is threatening me with court too - he has ds 2 nights a week and wants more access. DS is only 15 months old and xp refuses to pay any maitanence and is verbally abusive to me and my mother whom I am living with. I don't think he has a chance in hell as I feel I have been very reasonable. However it is horrible to be in such a nasty situation and I really feel for you. Will watch with interest as I may be in your position soon having to go to court. Keep strong and keep talking to people and getting support. Your son is so little and you have been so reasonable that your sons father will hardly have a case IMO. It is hard trying to do the right thing all the time, but listen to your instincts - you know what is best for your ds.