Friday nights aren't what they used to be....

[Catnkids]

Hi, I'm new here. Newly separated after nearly 15 years of marriage and just started divorce proceedings. My husband has decided to have the kids on a friday night which leaves me sat here alone.

What does everyone else do on a friday night? My friends aren't keen to go out (friday nights are family nights they tell me) and I don't know how to meet new people. How do you get back out there? Anyone got the magical answer? Or do I just need to get used to being lonely on Friday nights?

[CantSleepWontSleep]

Welcome Catnkids.
Sorry to hear about your marriage break up, but you'll never be lonely again now you've found MN .
I have no personal experience of this, but if you live in a village, then I'd suggest going to the village pub. Or is there any hobby you'd like to take up? Or go dancing - Marslady (a regular on here) goes salsa dancing every week for example.

Sure others will have more ideas.

[Rosasmum]

Hi Catnkids

So sorry to hear about your marriage ending, you sound as if you are positive about it. If you want to get out a Friday night, there are loads of classes around from yoga to dance to car mechanics. You could find out more at any local colleges to find out about evening classes or sports centres/communtiy centres for dance classes. You could also use the internet to search. Is there anything you have always wanted to try your hand at? If you are going to do something new, would you rather do something completely different or something safe? My friend goes to Salsa and she has met loads on new people. Don't get used to being lonely on a Friday night, use the time for you to have a social life, cos you don't get one with the kids around!!

Let us know how you get on. I am hoping that once my daughter is happy to be alone with her Father, I will be able to go to belly dancing classes.

[Catnkids]

Thanks to you both for your advice. Trouble is I'm very shy and find it impossible to go out alone to clubs/evening classes or anything new.

I've also got a back problem which means I can't do the usual solo-ish activities of yoga, aerobics etc.

My self-esteem and self-confidence aren't good at the best of times and at the moment are rock bottom.

I don't know any other single people who could come with me and don't know a way of meeting single people!

My husband twists the knife by spending every spare second with his girlfriend or on the phone to her which makes me feel 100x more alone.

Sorry to be on such a downer

[Rosasmum]

Hi CatnKids

You will feel more positive one day, so don't worry about feeling so down at the moment, it is understandable.

If your ex is going to have the kids at his home on a friday night, could you invite any of your friends or family over to you.

When I split with my ex, I dreaded leaving the house, I thought everybody would be looking at me, staring, knowing that I was on my own. I know realise that was ridiculous and just something I had to get thru. I had no confidence or self-esteem. Things do get better, you will get through this.

Have you even been to the cinema on your own? It is a strangley liberating experience. I went thinking I would feel like a billy no-mates but actually I had a great time, nobody cared that I was there on my own and I had a huge bag of sweets all to myself!

[NuttyMuffins]

Same as I do every night is the answer to your question, as xp doesn't have the kids at all.

If he did then I would either stay in and watch tv, dvd or whatever or, have friend round and get drunk or go out although I probably also wouldn't have anyone to go with.

I am also very shy and don't go anywhere except for the school and food shopping.

[MrsWho]

I like going to the cinema on my own

[NuttyMuffins]

You are so much braver than me MrsWho, I can't seem to do anything on my own. Have never ever been for a coffee or anything on my own, don't even like shopping on my own.

[Catnkids]

Hiya

OMG I went out on a Friday night!! Well kinda cos I got home before 9 but it was so nice just to be out.

I met a friend after she finished work and we went to a pub. She had to get the train home at 9 and then I drove back home - so no alcohol!! I did have plans for tonight with another friend but she let me down last minute, surprise surprise, but luckily my other friend took pity on me.

Not sure i could do the cinema on my own. Its too much of a big step for me. Being very shy can be really crippling. Like NM I just go to the supermarket and the school. I don't venture much further.

Thanks for thinking of me ladies. Wish you were closer, we could go out!

[tortoise]

I am stuck at home too. My DS's are at their dads and my DD's are in bed.
I am going to bed soon as i have a cold and feel crap. What an exciting life i lead. I haven't been to a pub for about 9 years!

[Catnkids]

Oh Nutty I am just the same as you!!! I hate doing stuff on my own. I can't even think about going for a coffee on my own - I'd feel like everyone was staring at me. Maybe it's all to do with my enormous lack of self-esteem and self-confidence.

My friend made me go to the bar and order the drinks and just walking 10 yards over to the bar made me really self conscious and nervous - it's not like anyone was looking at me though!!

[NuttyMuffins]

Oh i can't do that either, have never ever ordered drinks at a bar.

You are right it is crippling sometimes.

Glad you enjoyed your night out, sounds lovely

[MrsWho]

I spend a lot of time on my own, I get too pissed of with other people if I spend too long with them