stopping fathers access

(4 Posts)
Twistedsister999 Wed 19-Oct-16 18:46:55

Hi all, please don't jump down my throat for this.

About 3 months ago my daughter came home telling me a very detailed story of how her father had left her home alone while he went to the shop. She told me that he had locked her inside his flat so he could get milk from the shop 5 mins away from his home. Obviously I made sure she was telling the truth and contacted her father who denied it all. I believe my daughter and refuse to send her back to his on a weekend incase it happens again. Shes only 5! I arranged for him to have supervised contact at his parents house a few weeks after she told me everything. The day before she was supposed to go she called him and told him this and that and he called her a lier and said I was forcing her to say these things or she was just a lier. I obviously hung the phone up for her as she was very upset and told him he was not seeing her the next day to say things like that to her face. I've heard nothing for 3 months and have told him not to contact me but I feel very guilty. My daughter adores her father but I can't risk it. He has never paid child support or done much for her but that's not too important. Am I right in stopping him till she is of an age she can look after herself for a hour or so? She knows why she isn't seeing him but still blames herself and thinks I'm just being mean... Im torn apart.

JMKid Wed 19-Oct-16 19:57:44

The fact that he hasn't even bothered to contact you in three months says it all really. He clearly doesn't give a toss otherwise would be contacting you every day. Totally disgusting he even left her alone. Maybe try supervised or a contact centre till he can gain your trust if he ever can. I'd have done exact same thing in your position.

Molly333 Fri 21-Oct-16 03:01:07

My ex did this repeatedly , whenever I stood up to his poor behaviour towards the kids he would leave for months on end . It went on for years and only got better when I made our lives more fun packed and we had counselling . We hvnt seen him for five years now , he's made no effort tell everyone he's the victim and sends no cards or presents to the kids at birthdays etc; he lives five mins away !!! However we are ok about to move in with my partner who loves me and the children also the kindest calmest non controlling man ive ever met . Life does move on but it takes time , she will manage I promise but you can't cintrol what he does but u are correct in protecting her x

Starlight2345 Fri 21-Oct-16 23:17:04

I told my DS that if his dad wants to see him it is something his dad has to sort out and not anything I can do.

I would be waiting for her to get into touch.

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