Should I have a third child?

(4 Posts)
Jknlxo Thu 06-Oct-16 20:22:30

Hi I need some advice, I'm a young mum single and on my own with two children at the moment, I've just found out I'm pregnant and really don't know what to do, it's a different father to my first two and we're not together, I just don't know if I should have the baby or not, I don't want to do something tho that I will regret please help x

Wellywife Thu 06-Oct-16 20:38:06

That is a really hard one, so sorry you're in this position. In truth only you know how you feel deep down about each option.

You say you're not together with the father. You don't need to tell us, but is there a reason for that? Because if he's the father of your child you'll be forced into contact for the rest of your life. You also need to consider the financial side. As you know DC aren't cheap to run. Could you rely on him for support either financially or emotionally?

I have two friends that had early terminations, both many years ago. One has never really got over it while the other hasn't given it a second thought. Knowing yourself, which camp do you think you'd fall in to?

There's no right or wrong answer. If you make yourself an appointment at the BPAS they'll give you counselling first. It will help you decide. Good luck. flowers

Jknlxo Fri 07-Oct-16 01:19:53

I know I keep going over the options in my head but I just don't know, I've read that I shouldn't go through with an abortion if I'm not 100% sure and I'm not but also I don't want to have this baby and then really regret it, im not with him because he's back with his ex who he already has two children with, he's saying he will be there for the baby and I know he probably would support me financially but I wouldn't want him to, she wouldn't beable to know about the baby so realistically it would be a secret so in that case I'd rather him just not be around if I do have the baby if that makes any sense, my first two children have the same dad but he's not around it was an abusive relationship and I had bad depression after I had them both, my first ones three and my second is two and I'm only just getting back to normal and actually bonding with them partly because I was scared of getting help at the beginning and because I didn't even know I was depressed, but now that it's sorted and I'm feeling good I feel guilty at the thought of having an abortion I think I love the baby already but it's just my situation and what everyone else will say and wether I'll cope with three on my own I've just started my new job which I really love I don't work all the time though so I do have a lot of spare time for the baby as my first child will be just starting school when the baby's born and my second is in full time nursery, I'm just weighing everything up but can't decide what I should do, sorry for the rant but I have no one else to talk to and just need opinions, because once I've had an abortion there's no going back

Jknlxo Fri 07-Oct-16 01:29:09

And also I've had an abortion before because I knew it wasn't the right Time or situation and I wasn't in any doubt atall and I've never ever questioned myself about it and I don't feel guilty about it either, but with this I feel guilty and sad at the thought of getting rid of it, but then I think how will I cope with three will I get depressed again? I was lucky with my first two even tho I was depressed I had my mum and my sisters around me helping me with them because I lived with my mum at the time so they helped a lot and my first two are really good I've never had any problems I've found it easy with two but I guess three changes everything, I can't tell anyone because I know as soon as I do they'll say get rid straight away

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