Does anyone have a court order to prevent them moving?

(8 Posts)
CustardCream1 Wed 17-Aug-16 17:08:04

I'm a single mum of a 1 yr old. I have no support where I live and had hoped to move near family but is 2.5 hrs away from my ex, my DD's Dad, and he's managed to get a court order to prevent me moving. We have to attend a court hearing in a month where a judge will decide whether I am still to be stopped from moving or if I can move. It does seem though that it will go in my ex's favour and not mine. He is able to afford legal help which his Dad is funding, I do not.

I am trying to come to terms with being forced to live somewhere I hate for the next 16 yrs or so and am really struggling. I feel like I'm in prison and that when my 'sentence' is over and I can live where I want to, I will be nearly 60.

Has anyone else being prevented from living where they want due to a court order? How did you cope? Does it get easier in time?

Thank you.

cannotlogin Wed 17-Aug-16 18:53:10

Yes. This happened to me. I was allowed to move in the end - took about 9 months for it to work it's way through the system. I moved further than you are suggesting.

How old is your child?
Where are you planning to move to? Is it accessible easily?
What input does your ex currently have in your child's life? Are you able to give examples of him being particularly unhelpful? Does he pay maintenance?
Can you say with certainty that your family will help you? Do your parents still work, for example?

Essentially, you need to build an argument as to why it's a positive thing for the children. If you are currently on benefits, putting some emphasis on how you will develop your independence so that you are not reliant on the tax payer will be helpful. You also need a clear plan for contact - Skype, more time during school holidays, doing at least half of the driving, every other weekend plus bank holidays, how Xmas might work etc.

cannotlogin Wed 17-Aug-16 18:54:20

Sorry, just realised your child is 1. I think he will struggle to make a compelling argument at such a young age.

CrowyMcCrowFace Wed 17-Aug-16 19:08:49

Yes, this happened to me - I wanted to move to another continent! We are now very happy with our new life overseas.

What my twunty ex got was a Prohibited Steps Order, which banned me from moving. It was set aside in court at an early stage of the Leave To Remove process. He had claimed I was likely to remove the country without notice or his/the court's permission.

A PSO is definitely not set in stone; it just says that what is best for the dc has yet to be agreed between you (or decided in court) so blocks you from just unilaterally buggering off without dc's father having his say - it would be hard to force you to move back, so maintaining the status quo until it's been thrashed out is seen as a good thing.

I think you can make an excellent case for moving, so don't panic just yet! You do need legal advice (although you can represent yourself in court).

CustardCream1 Wed 17-Aug-16 23:18:46

Thank you all. I am so sorry to your you have gone through such a stressful time with prohibited steps orders. I have already put together my case for moving and a proposal for regular contact with my ex. It is basically for him to spend the day with her on Sat or Sun at a half way point then to have her every other weekend. In addition I have proposed he has her for 1 week every 8 weeks and alternate christmases. I have offered to always meet him half way to reduce his time driving. Plus daily Skype chats. He says my proposal isn't good enough as he wants to see her 3 or 4 times a week. He currently sees her about 2 or 3 times a week but only since I told him of proposed move. Before it was once or twice a week. If it goes to court we each have to submit a doctor's report to say if we have any mental health or alcohol problems. My ex has suffered depression and suffered several breakdowns plus has been on a treatment programme for alcohol adduction however on the statement his solicitor read out at the hearing yesterday it said he had never had any alcohol or mental health problems which is a lie. I'm not sure if it will go against him. Probably not. crowy I think I do have a strong case but I fear the court will come down hard on me because I didn't properly consult my ex about the move and only told him of proposed move 5 weeks before. The truth is my ex makes it almost impossible for me to tslk to him but I worry the judge will want to make an example of me and will tell me i can't move.

GreenGoth89 Wed 17-Aug-16 23:38:15

You could make a case saying its against your human rights (look at human rights act) and living near extended family will only enhance your parenting where as continuing to live where you are is isolating you and your DC from your family.

cannotlogin Thu 18-Aug-16 00:26:33

Well, if he lied he will be found out. It won't look good. You want to make sure you mention the alcohol treatment as he really has lied about that.

I am not sure this is a human rights issue - it is as much the father's right to a relationship with their child and, more importantly, the right of the child to a relationship with their father, as it is a mother's right to live where she wants. Someone is going to be unhappy, whatever you do.

In what way did you not 'properly consult' with your ex? You are not obliged to discuss any decisions you might make about your own future. I am pretty sure he could have guessed this was going to happen anyway.

Will he mediate?

cannotlogin Thu 18-Aug-16 00:27:42

Will you be able to find work when you move? Can you evidence that?

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