dads having kids, dad being nosey into my life...

(2 Posts)
hooper91 Tue 02-Aug-16 19:43:45

right a few things really.
I have 3 kids (6,4 -ds's and a 2 month old dd) dad lives with his parents in a 3 bed house (has an older child too so not alot of room there) he will not have both children even for 1 day, its struggle for him to have 1 once a week! Is it wrong to expect him to have his children over, really? He works shifts (on night shifts he will come to my house to see the kids - well lie on sofa and doze while playing on his phone or laptop that he takes everywhere!) He will moan I dont do anything (not sure how I can sit on my ass like he thinks with 3 kids lol )
another thing is he is friends with a few of my neighbours and Iv found out that he gossips about me to them. It makes me hate living in my street because I know the people being nice to me are really two faced and back stabbers. Hes says I dont do anything and dump the kids in front of the tv all day for "an easy day" and I make him have the kids. They all reply back that im lazy and they hate me(!) and I get on their nerves as I wanted kids but want to "dump them any chance I get" Is expecting a break from 2 boisterous ds's once or twice a week "dumping my kids" and wanting them out of my way? ps; I know he talks about me as I was told by someone and shown messages from a group chat on facebook where they were bad mouthing me and this person was shocked and told me
I dont recieve maintance from ex bf - mainly because he has said if I try he isnt seeing the kids again ever. Im ok for money and dont struggle at all being a single mum on benefits by the way, though even at his house I have to supply night time pull ups for my youngest who isnt dry at nights yet.
This whole thing just makes me want to move miles away and be rid of him and the fake friends I have here but I know thats wrong to take the kids away from him and wouldnt do that. Not sure what im posting for Im just had after a huge headache all day from the kids play fighting and arguing while dd whinges on my shoulder all day!
I feel so angry towards ex bf for being nosey and interferring and angry for him moaning about having his children with him. He is like it to his other ex too, ignores her and doesnt really bother with their child. He was so nice at first (but looking back he subtly encouraged me to quit work/miss days at work to be with him 100% of the time, made me feel bad about leaving kids with him to go anywhere alone, moved me in within 6 weeks of seeing each other) his ex did warn me when I started seeing him that he is lovely and supportive at first but he soon loses interest and treats you like crap, I should have listen but then I wouldnt have had my lovely kids. Just feels like he frustrates me so much and I just want him to go away. I mean hes still got bits of his crap here (wires,papers bits of junk he wont say what to do with but if I bin it all he will go crazy at me. Hes got a temper- never hit me but hes turned quickly and got in my face with his arms up which scared me as it could have easily gone further - that was when ds1 was having a tantrum so ex decided to lock him outside in the enclosed garden and I was shouting at him to let him back in because it scared ds1 and ex turned on me and stormed off.
God all this makes me look like such a doormat when he treats me like crap. Just looking for some virtual hugs or chat really

SharonfromEON Thu 04-Aug-16 00:15:48

You now need to toughen up...

You need to go to the CMS... that will pay for childcare if he follows through... most don't

You stop providing anything..

He does not come in your house.. He sorts out where he is going to do access..

I think you will feel so much better when these things are in place..

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