Does it get better?

(8 Posts)
Theseatheskytheseatheskyyyy Sat 23-Jul-16 17:15:39

I've been a single mum now for just under two months to a 2 year old and a 12 week old baby. Split after finding out ex was having an affair throughout my pregnancy and after birth. Despite what he's done to me, he's been brilliant with our dc's - seeing them twice a week, paying maintenance when due. I'm feeling really fed up with life though, and drained. I feel like have no energy at all to be a parent. I snap at them both I'm shamed to admit everyday. From morning until night. They don't do anything wrong or anything to deserve it. We're living back at my mum's just now as the house I bought after we split is needing work done to it but that's almost finished now. I feel like sometimes I should hand them over to their dad to stay but I know I would regret it. Is it normal to feel like this? Is this just part of the adjustment process and things will improve in a few months? Feeling like I'm losing hope, it's just everyone says it gets better but it hasn't yet sad.

Claraoswald36 Sat 23-Jul-16 20:18:12

IT gets better and you get stronger. I left exh when I was 9 weeks pg with dd2 and dd1 was 2. I have never looked back grin

Claraoswald36 Sat 23-Jul-16 20:19:02

And I remember the snapping well. You are tired and over whelmed you need to get some control back

BearGryllsHasaBigRope Sat 23-Jul-16 20:22:25

Yes, it does most definitely get better. It takes time, but there will be a point that you look back and see how far you have come. The baby will grow, you'll soon be able to reason with your toddler which makes parenting a whole lot easier.

Be kind to yourself, you've been through a huge deal. Discovering an affair, a break up, a move back to your parents. None of those things are easy, so try not to rush yourself too much.

Bluecarrot Sat 23-Jul-16 20:50:39

You have two very young children, are renovating a house and are having to adjust to new lifestyle. Please be kind to yourself!

It will take time to find your groove. I was a LP to my eldest and now, sadly I'm an LP again with the older child from previous relationship, a 2 year old and expecting another in a few months. I'm fine with LP status right now but rather scared about how I will cope when new baby is here. Im just keeping my expectations low!
You should try to address the shouting as it'll send you into a vicious circle of guilt and anger! You toddler is still adjusting to Ll the changes - the split, moving house, the new baby and a v tired mummy. Their whole world has shifted and they are refinding their boundaries and their place in the family.

Claraoswald36 Sat 23-Jul-16 21:28:25

Being your expectations down is good advice. If you have a 2 year old and they watch tv in their pyjamas all day at this point it doesn't matter. Give yourself a break :-)
Also check out if you are entitled to me too funding for your 2 year old for the 15 hours of nursery - sounds like you need it x

Claraoswald36 Sat 23-Jul-16 21:30:43

And think about your 2 year old going over night to your ex - if he has suitable accommodation better to get this going sooner than later you need it and it would be expected eventually anyway

Flowerpower41 Sun 24-Jul-16 08:35:42

Check you aren't lacking in iron if you are feeling extra tired. When I go like that I buy Floradix to give me extra energy. It really works!

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