I am such a bad mother! Please help!

(11 Posts)
Shaus25 Fri 10-Jun-16 12:11:24

My little boy is just gobe 1 and has being wakening the last few nights and staying awake for a while. I think it's teeth that's wakening him but then I'm not sure. Iv being through so much with him since he was born. We were told he had an allergy to cows milk protein at 3 months then he was always sick leave, he caught everything going, we always had him in hospital, and still is always sick from this day. Last night he woke at 2:55 am didn't go back to sleep untill 5:30 am. It's making me so angry. It's scaring me. I shouted at him to go asleep a few times and turned him over roughly too. It's like I had a melt down or something. I feel like such a terrible mother. Like what kind of person does that to there baby sad hate myself for putting my baby through that. Love the bones of him. I'm so good with him any other time just at night time. I'm putting him in his own room soon to see will he sleep better. He's very improved on sleeping now he's older but still has loads of nights where he moves constantly. I think it's because his allergys. It's not his fault and get so angry. It's so mean! I spoke to my doctor about my anger at night and she just told me to put him in his own room because I need my sleep and that I'm doing a great job as she knows me very well as we have a very good relationship. I told her I was angry with him but not violently but if I'm turning him over roughly, am I being violent with him? Please help me.

starry0ne Fri 10-Jun-16 21:01:24

I had a really bad sleeper and was doing it on my own.. Tiredness is a killer, desperation for sleep is never a good thing.
Realise your triggers. If you feel yourself getting angry walk away..He will be safe in his cot and crying won't harm him.

Do you have any help support?
Children's centre may be able to help if one near you hasn't shut down.

It really does get easier

RebelRogue Fri 10-Jun-16 21:10:50

You're not a bad mum.you're a tired,exhausted mum. Lack of sleep can affect you in many ways,including irritability. Do you have any family or friends that could maybe have him overnight or during the day so you can catch up on sleep? Is there any pattern to his wake ups? Is he in discomfort,pain etc or just wanting to play? Good luck with moving him into his own room. And stop beating yourself up, it will just make you even more anxious and upset. X

Kent1982 Fri 10-Jun-16 21:11:37

No your not a bad mother, it's hard to be Mary poppins 24/7 . I didn't move dis to his own room until about 10 monthes then I slept on the floor in there like a crack pot, just in case he needed me, in my mind so I could settle him quickly. Some one put it to me could I be disturbing him and if I'm honest I think I was he is much better at sleeping in his room. He is 13 month and the improvement over past months has been great. Give it a try. I do have a baby monitor on still but I'm not awake at every turn he does in the night so when he does want to have a 3am party I can handle it much better as I, not constantly tired

Shaus25 Sat 11-Jun-16 22:29:54

Thanks so much everyone. Made me feel so much better to know I'm not a loan. My baby slept in his cot in my room last night while I slept in the spare room just to see how he would sleep and he slept great halo Hope tonight goes well too. I'm moving him into his own room in a few days. Feeling much better today. Thank you xx

Kinderegg50 Tue 21-Jun-16 22:36:52

I've been in the same position as you and have felt so angry over non stop crying, sleepless nights and lack of sleep. Forgive yourself. Some of us are running on empty and it's so hard.

junebirthdaygirl Wed 22-Jun-16 08:13:04

Di you have anyone who could do even one night for you. Maybe your dm. Getting one full night would make a difference. Lack of sleep is a nightmare. Bring him into your bed. Go to bed when he goes. Anything that means you get some sleep. This is not easy with two people. Doing it on your own is another story. Does his dad take him for a night? I think you are being very wise talking to your doctor and getting all the help you can.

Shaus25 Sun 26-Jun-16 20:07:17

Thanks so much guys. It's great that I'm not alone. He's being in the bed with me since 3 months old, he's only just gone into his own room and I feel iv being getting a better nights sleep, iv a very noisy bed and it always used to wake him as well as him not being a great sleeper but he's being doing great since moving rooms. My parents help out alot, I'd be lost without them. His father lives in England, and when he comes home I wouldn't leave DS overnight with him as he wouldn't know him that well as he wouldn't be over that much but when he gets to know him It will be great. Thanks again smile

megletthesecond Sun 26-Jun-16 20:52:38

Pleased things are a little easier now. Lack of sleep makes it so hard to get on top of things doesn't it.

abbsismyhero Sun 26-Jun-16 20:54:55

the other night i was being pestered by my three year old and i woke up to myself saying for gods sake shut up and go to sleep im shattered

Shaus25 Sun 26-Jun-16 21:56:04

It sure does get on top of things. It can break you down. It's not easy hun. Oh poor you, we say a lot of things we regret when exhausted and can also think horrible things but you wouldn't act on them. I had a wobble with Charlie this morning again because he is refusing to eat for me this past week and when I'm trying to Change his nappy he's kicking me so hard so I did get angry alot this morn and felt awful but I'm trying to forget about it and if in that situation again I will try do a better job at handling it. Being a mom is so hard but would worth it.

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