asking for more maintenance

(17 Posts)
loveyoumummy Fri 29-Apr-16 17:49:50

So my exH gives me maintenance. According to csa calculator it is £100 less than it should be. It has been like this for 2 years!

I always said it was fine (I never actually used the calculator to get to the agreed amount) because I wanted him to be happy (yes I'm a mug).

I've never really spoken about finances until a conversation with a friend who said that I was stupid. She worked out what money I have after bills/mortgage etc and it's pretty small - whereas because of the 'pittance' he pays me, he is living a life of Riley.

After 2 years how do I approach the subject that I need more? I'm worried he'll say that I've made do for 2 years and why can't I carry on? My tax credits have gone down as well and it just seems so unfair!

loveyoumummy Fri 29-Apr-16 17:51:11

I suppose what I'm saying is I don't 'need' £100
More as I've survived, but he 'should' be paying more?

ChipInTheSugar Fri 29-Apr-16 18:08:09

Hell yes, he should. Cost of living has gone up, so maintenance should increase accordingly!

TheUnsullied Fri 29-Apr-16 18:16:06

Email/text him and explain that things are tight and you've noticed he's paying far less than the CMS minimum. If he gets arsy about it, open a CMS claim and let them deal with him.

Fourormore Fri 29-Apr-16 18:19:35

As Unsullied says, keep it really basic -

Dear X,
Having checked the CMS calculator, it appears the amount that should be paid to me for loveyouchild is £Xxx.
Please can you amend the standing order from next month.
Loveyoumummy.

If he doesn't do it, go straight to the CMS.

Lemonblast Fri 29-Apr-16 22:16:02

As above.
If you are managing day to day, put any extra into a junior ISA or savings account for the kids.
You're not doing anything wrong by asking him to fulfil the minimum financial obligation to his children.

justjuanmorebeer Sun 01-May-16 10:59:05

What fourormore said

loveyoumummy Mon 02-May-16 21:34:54

Thank you for your posts. I saw another thread and it's got me confused. At present me and my ex do 3 / 4 alternate weeks, so effectively 50/50 HOWEVER I am with my daughter (provide childcare when he's at work) 3 full days one week, he has our dd 1 full day, the other week I have our dd 2.5 days to his 1.5. Effectively I provide childcare during the week so he can work. I also pay most of the childcare on the days we both work. Now I'm confused if I can even ask for more? At present I receive £50 a month.

I'm just feeling really resentful that I'm learning to scrape by and after his salary and paying me the £50 he has over £2000 to play with!

loveyoumummy Mon 02-May-16 21:35:34

Sorry when I say 3 / 4 I mean overnights. Sorry I'm confusing

Fourormore Mon 02-May-16 22:05:32

You can ask, you just won't necessarily get.

If you follow CMS rules, it's done on overnights not days. If you split nights 50/50 then nothing is due.

TheUnsullied Tue 03-May-16 09:23:10

It does sound like the overnights are 50/50 so no maintenance would be due. You're not helping your situation by having DD during his days while he's at work though. Those are his days and should be days that you can go out to work if needed. He should really be arranging his own childcare for those days.

Rebecca2014 Tue 03-May-16 09:29:41

Childcare, just stop having your daughter on his work days....crazy how you have pay out for childcare when your working yet he gets off scot free

About child support, I'm not sure because you have 50-50 contact but definitely sort out the childcare situation.

Fourormore Tue 03-May-16 09:32:36

I did all the "childcare" until my DC went to school. I didn't see the point of putting my young child in a nursery when I was able to look after him.

You aren't obliged to do it though and you are well within your rights to ask him to sort childcare if you want to work instead.

loveyoumummy Tue 03-May-16 12:10:54

Thank you. At moment I have dd mon and fri as I don't work. I work tues-thurs and she is in nursery. He pays £50 towards said nursery. In terms of weekend he has dd 2.5 days over the course of 2 weeks, I have 1.5.

As I see it, technically he should be paying for two days of the nursery because they are 'his' days.

The £100 comes from me working it out via CMS based on his earnings.

Now I'm confused as to how much I should ask for? I'm tempted to say up from £50 to £100 then if I can't ask for maintence?

Sorry if my post is confusing - I'm confusing myself!

Fourormore Tue 03-May-16 12:31:44

The online CMS calculator doesn't take into account 50/50 arrangements.

Is it firmly established that Tue-Thur are your ex's days?

starry0ne Wed 04-May-16 21:38:23

If you are 50/50 overnight then no maintenance is due to you at all..

but yes as you appear to be alternate days childcare would be split..Likely swings and runabouts...

Remember your Childcare bill will go down when Little one is 3 and will be in school when 4..

1ofthosedays Mon 30-May-16 00:43:55

Would you rather he pay childcare on those two days or you spend time with your DC? Or is it more that on those 2 days that you provide 'childcare' you could be working?
If CSA doesn't take in to account 50/50 split then you could always go down the route of saying to your ex that you are looking to increase work hours during his contact sessions, if he would prefer for you to look after DC instead then could he increase payments to accomodate loss of earnings?
But ruthless I know and seems horrible to 'charge' to look after your own DC but if you worked during that time you could earn more money and he would have to find childcare

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