Baby due soon, how to I tell ex grandparents

[Parrotmore]

My baby boy is due soon and my ex wants nothing to do with the baby. I really want to tell his parents so they have the choice to see my son or not.
they are great with his other children and I just want to do the best for my son but opening that pathway with out opening a can of messy worms so to speak.
I was considering writing a letting to apologise for any upset it may cause by telling the etc but to invite them to be in my sons life if the wish etc and no hard feelings if they don't.
Shall I send it before baby comes so they have a chance to digest it or wait till baby is born??
They live 300 miles always so doing it in person is not an option.
Tia

[Fourormore]

Well I wouldn't apologise, for a start. I would send a birth announcement shortly after the birth saying that I would like for them to be involved in their grandson's life. I wouldn't apologise, I wouldn't say no hard feelings if they don't, I'd just let them know the baby was here and that I'd like them to be involved.

[Parrotmore]

I guess I feel I have to apologise for dropping such a massive bombshell on them.

[Fourormore]

You haven't got anything to apologise for If anyone needs to apologise it's their son for concealing your pregnancy and therefore the impending birth of their grandchild.

[Parrotmore]

I see your point. I think I will send them a birth announcement: with invite to baptism and just leave it at that.

[3rdrockfromthesun]

Send the announcement but state that if they want a relationship then you all sit down and decide rules I.e. How they portray and talk about his father and not going behind your back in regards to their son iyswim???