angry 12 year old

(3 Posts)
madmotherof2 Mon 14-Mar-16 14:17:51

Hi,

I'm no longer a lone parent but my predicament is something I imagine lone parents struggle with!!

I have a 12 year old son, I separated from his dad when he was a few months old. It's been tough going, we had a couple of years backwards and forwards to court when DS was a toddler. DS and his dad have EOW contact and in between there are the odd text messages.

DS hasn't seen his Dad for nearly 4 weeks for various reasons ( swapped weekends for MD and this last weekend his Dad messed up so DS didn't go)

DS has always had a temper, he's always been difficult to parent, is very strong willed and stubborn. Besides this though I think we have a lovely relationship and get on really well.

The problem is during arguments he always throws around stuff about how everything is better at his Dad's . which could be true but he doesn't have homework, a set bedtime - as it's the weekend, getting sent to school, being made to have a bath etc, so of course everything is easy there!!

Last night we had an argument as he'd been on his PS4 for a long amount of time and he was pushing for longer, which would mean him going to bed later than normal ( or having a shorter shower!) the argument went on and on, as it always does, as DS won't back down. In the end he was so rude he's ended up losing out on his PS4 this evening.

Then started all the I hate you, I hate my step dad, he treats me badly, my Dad is amazing, I can't wait until I can leave this house forever sadall really upsetting stuff, and I'll be honest really hard to hear as yes my EX is lovely to DS's face but there's a side he really doesn't know ( and I don't want him to) so it's a real kick in the teeth to hear DS shining his halo for him!!

I know he's angry but I really don't know what to do with his behaviour. We try so so hard with him, he has a lovely life, but he's always only seeing what he doesn't get and not what he does!

Please, someone tell me it will get better?!

barbarafyles Mon 14-Mar-16 19:44:43

Yes it will, but don't start wishing your lives away, waiting for that time to come. He sounds like a normal pre teen to me neither adult nor child and trying to cope with a world he doesn't really understand.
And of course the grass is greener else where. Which boy (Or girl) of that age wouldn't enjoy be allowed to stay up late or forgo a wash.
But remember, although they fight against rules, rules and firm boundaries are what give a child security and confidence so don't give in.
Sounds to me like you're doing a great job, stick to your guns, try to bite your tongue when necessary and you'll both be able to laugh at this togeher in a few years time.

barbarafyles Mon 14-Mar-16 19:45:51

Yes it will, but don't start wishing your lives away, waiting for that time to come. He sounds like a normal pre teen to me neither adult nor child and trying to cope with a world he doesn't really understand.
And of course the grass is greener else where. Which boy (Or girl) of that age wouldn't enjoy be allowed to stay up late or forgo a wash.
But remember, although they fight against rules, rules and firm boundaries are what give a child security and confidence so don't give in.
Sounds to me like you're doing a great job, stick to your guns, try to bite your tongue when necessary and you'll both be able to laugh at this togeher in a few years time.

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