Long story short: I'm in a similar position to the woman in this thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/lone_parents/1530491-Absent-father-would-you-contact-his-family
...except that their father is involved. Sees them twice a week and pays a regular, though tiny, amount of maintenance. He was emotionally abusive when we were together, led a double life, had an affair etc. He is a compulsive liar and has never told his family about our children, who are now 6 and 7.
The children and I are in a good place now and are happy, but as time goes on I feel more and more strongly that it is wrong for them to be kept a secret from his parents and siblings. He claims to live with his family (at the age of 32!) and states that they would throw him out if they knew he'd been married and divorced with kids - meaning that he'd be unable to pay child support, as London rents are unaffordable. (His job is pretty crap and he's never lived alone, just cocklodged off girlfriends etc.)
He's also British Asian and the kids are mixed. They only see my side of the family (e.g. white folks) and sometimes seem a bit confused by the fact that Daddy is the only brown-skinned member of the family. I have explained that they have another side of the family but that Daddy isn't ready to introduce them yet. But at 6 and 7 it is clear that he is never going to be ready.
WIBU to pick up the phone and give his mother a call? (Her work number is listed on the Internet.) I'm tired of waiting and don't see why my children should be kept as a dirty little secret any more.
Or am I just poking a hornet's nest / not letting sleeping dogs lie? I don't know what to do. Help!
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Should I tell my children's grandparents about them?
4 replies
warmleatherette · 22/02/2016 13:52
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