Fed up

[Hawest1]

I probably just need a rant so here goes,
This past few weeks I just feel completely & utterly fed up. I am fed up of my house being a constant pig sty, tired of having a mountain of washing, tired of shouting, tired of feeling like a referee in my own house, fed up of never getting to do the things I want to do, fed up of feeling judged.
I love my DSs with all my heart & I would do absolutely anything for them but recently they have pulled at every nerve in me, all I seem to do is scream & shout, there is a permanent bum print in the naughty step cause one of them is always on it, can't even do simple things like go a walk to nursery or even to the shop without me having to shout. i seem to have a constant sore head from all the shouting I have to do.
My house, where do I begin!! I can't go to the bathroom/cook tea/get them clothes etc etc without coming back to a complete bomb site, if I even dare go for a shower u literally cannot see their bedroom floor for toys. Either that or they are pulling lumps out of each other!!
I really wanted to decorate my house in the new year but seems I spend my life tidying up the same mess instead.
By tea time most days I've had enough & I find my self literally pulling my own hair, even sometimes crying because it's all got too much! I have a brilliant set of friends & my mum is great aswell but i am so scared to tell people I amnt coping, what if they try to take my kids away? As much as they are annoying & messy etc I couldn't live with out them! I just feel like I'm not allowed to be fed up, all these people that manage to keep their houses spotless, kids happy, hold down a job & heres me, stay at home mum that's losing the plot, house an absolute state with kids that pull lumps out of each other.

[Icandoanything]

Well, I only have one child and feel like that, so anyone who has more than 1, is on their own and functions amazes me - so well done!

I feel like that as well, my house is always messy. I work full time and spend about 2-3 hours tidying it on a Saturday morning. My mum thinks the way to get organised is to have a place for everything, and get your kids to help too.

Don't be worried about telling friends and family, I'm sure they wouldn't judge you, but it does sound like you need to be honest with them about how you are feeling.

Sending you virtual hugs x

[Hawest1]

Mostly everything does have a place & the kids do help (sometimes!!) they do do a lot more than alot of kids their age, my 3yo loves to hoover, but it seems to take me snapping for me to get any help or for them to even notice me before they do anything. I think everything has just piled up on me to be honest, I seem to break at the smallest things & of course the DSs know exactly how to push my buttons which doesn't help!
I feel like I finally get on top of things then something happens, someone gets Ill or something then we are straight back to square one. My youngest has been ill this last 2 weeks & he has 2 moods 'let's wreck the house' or 'emotional wreck' but even before this I was feeling crappy, this was just the icing on the cake I think.

[Hawest1]

& where do u start a conversation like that? I would love to be able to confide in the likes of my mum but where do I begin!?

[BusPuppy]

Nobody is going to take your kids away for having a messy house, squabbling kids or being a bit shouty sometimes! Nobody is going to take your kids away because you're having a tough time coping (but somebody might be able to help you out at least if you admit it). Unless you are abusing your kids (and you're not based on what you have said) then NOBODY IS GOING TO TAKE YOUR KIDS AWAY! You will get nothing but respect and support for having the strength and love to seek help when you need it to improve your families life.

And when it comes to talking about your current problems just say it. There's no other way to begin really. Take a deep breath and do it. 'I'm having such a hard time'/'It seems like everything is going wrong right now'/'How did you manage when I was little, I feel like I can't do this'.

A good whinge is very therapeutic and puts things into perspective too, once you've said it all out loud it's surprising the way it suddenly doesn't seem so bad after all. And you'll probably learn you are far from alone, lots of people feel like you do (or have done at some point) no matter how 'easy' their lives might look from the outside.

You are SO lucky to have brilliant friends and be close to your mum. So SO lucky. Take advantage of it, you're clearly not moaning on about your life all the time so I'll bet these people will be pleased to make time to listen now you actually do need a moan. They may even have some good advice to offer, but even if they don't you will feel a lot better just for having said something and having been sympathised with. And saying it makes it so much easier to face things and change them, acknowledging problems leads to solutions.

I have found loads of good advice just lurking about on here too, if you want advice on specific problems (how to have a less messy house/how to cut back on shouting/how to help your kids get along better) it's a good place to ask and get a whole range of good ideas that might work well for you.