i can't take it anymore

(27 Posts)
purpley Fri 29-Jan-16 15:24:18

i am so fed up this baby he doesn't sleep day and time he can get out of bed easy i don't know what do i swear i am done with him but there no else who needs him he is the biggest mistake i have ever made now i want to kill myself i don't have a life anyway why suffer anymore.

MouldyPeach Fri 29-Jan-16 15:27:51

How old is your baby? There is lots of help even if you don't have friends or family to turn to, your gp, health visitor or even posting here will help. It does get better, I promise.

scandichick Fri 29-Jan-16 15:28:45

So sorry to hear you're having a hard time, how old is your baby? Do you have anyone you can talk to around you, the health visitor maybe?

purpley Fri 29-Jan-16 15:38:56

he 21 months old now

purpley Fri 29-Jan-16 15:47:34

i don't think it's going to get better for me it only got worse

purpley Fri 29-Jan-16 15:50:30

i don't have anyone i too tired i haven't a minute to myself since he was born it i did everything by my self now i am regret why i didn't get rid of him when i was pregnant

scandichick Fri 29-Jan-16 16:09:08

Maybe we can come up with some ideas to help with his sleep - I've had a bad sleeper so have some idea how hard it can be. I think the health visitor can refer you to get some help with him, might be worth a try?

MouldyPeach Fri 29-Jan-16 16:23:36

What do you need OP? Is there anyone else to look after the baby? Is the father helpful?

MouldyPeach Fri 29-Jan-16 16:24:54

Is co-sleeping an option? Don't feel that your baby needs to be kept in a separate room if it helps everyone get a good sleep

MouldyPeach Fri 29-Jan-16 16:26:44

Gingerbread is a charity set up to help single parents, they have a free helpline: 0808 802 0925
Please call them for some practical advice and help

hownottofuckup Fri 29-Jan-16 16:28:41

Yy try childline.

Is it just the sleep or other probs too?

hownottofuckup Fri 29-Jan-16 16:29:26

So sorry, I meant Gingerbread!!

purpley Sat 30-Jan-16 00:05:18

i went to he healthy visitors nothing helped

purpley Sat 30-Jan-16 00:06:30

what is OP? the father is not in his life he went back home

purpley Sat 30-Jan-16 00:07:35

we sleep in a same room but we don't co sleep he has his cot

purpley Sat 30-Jan-16 00:08:20

his contact them on Monday

purpley Sat 30-Jan-16 00:08:58

i mean i will contact them on Monday

hownottofuckup Sat 30-Jan-16 00:15:56

OP is you, original post/er I think.
HV aren't always the most helpful, but my recent one has been fab since I opened up and was honest with her.
And there's Gingerbread too.
Is he due to start nursery soon? Are you entitled to the 2yr old free hours? That could give you a bit of a breather. It must be so hard if you have no support network. Things always change though, and can get better.

MouldyPeach Sat 30-Jan-16 15:25:45

How are you today purpley

scandichick Sat 30-Jan-16 19:51:52

About the sleeping, is the problem that he wakes up frequently? Or is it getting him to sleep at night?

EternalSunshine820 Sat 30-Jan-16 20:14:55

purpley what others have said about co-sleeping above, it might be worth a try.

I'll describe what happened with mine, though every baby/toddler is different. My DD is 2 years + 1 month now. When she was first born we were in a noisy hospital with a rocking crib for 10 days. Then suddenly she got taken home to a silent flat with a still moses basket and just me there and just wouldn't settle at all, I think she was really scared. So I started letting her sleep on my chest as it was the only way I could get any rest. And that's the only way she would settle for months. Months and months. DD still woke me, I'd say she woke me about once an hour for the first 19 months. I was exhausted, but at least I didn't have to keep getting up, putting her down - with the co-sleeping, we would naturally just re-position ourselves in the bed and sleep again. I just had to make sure she couldn't fall off (sleep on the outside, bed against the wall and cot mattress on the floor on my side just ot be sure). I didn't understand why everyone else's babies went into cots just fine and began to sleep longer and mine didn't.

Then, at 19 months I had had enough, put her in the cot, in another room, closed the door, went downstairs and (this was once of the hardest things I've ever done) didn't go back in while she was crying. DD cried for about half an hour. Since then she's gone into the cot (now a cot bed) ever night, the door is closed, and she sleeps through until morning. Something just clicked. Even the transition to the cot bed at 22 months didn't change anything, she just kind of shrugged and went to sleep in it. I never open the door between bed time and morning, she never tries to come out. These days, everyone else's toddlers are refusing to go to bed, and getting up during the night - mine doesn't do this (yet.. touch wood..), ever.

All this is just to say a couple of things.. that co-sleeping might work and it's worth a try.. that it's all so hard when you are going through and it and are so sleep deprived but you will turn a corner at some point, things will change.

I would also repeat what the others have said about getting some help - if the HV hasn't helped (and they should help, and if they don't I'd say keep calling, pester them until they do).. try your GP and insist you need help right now.. and if you do feel you really can't cope today or any day, usually you can walk into your local medical centre / A&E nearby and they told me they have a place where people can just sit and not be by themselves, if they feel like they are going to hurt themselves or their children. That's obviously a last resort but just so that you know it's there. The phonelines (Gingerbread etc) I didn't try but yes please do call them and find out. The free nursery hours you can't apply for until your child's 2nd birthday and they begin the term after usually but I have those now and it's so amazing finally having a few hours a week to myself!!! - so please do apply for them and good luck x

MrsRedFly Sat 30-Jan-16 22:01:36

Check if Homestart is in you area. It's a voluntary organisation that helps with families with under 5s

The volunteer helps for a couple of hours a week -even someone to talk to over cup of tea, play with you Mr DC while you have a nap, take them out for walk to park etc

In my area they also run groups, do day trips etc

purpley Sat 06-Feb-16 16:06:44

EternalSunshine820

he is not a hand baby i never let him sleep with me for some reasons i like my bed is bit high and my mattress is very old the strings are almost out so i feel his cot is very safe for him.

purpley Sat 06-Feb-16 16:07:48

MrsRedFly

i will thanks

purpley Sat 06-Feb-16 16:08:16

thank you very much all of you

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