After nearly 12 years absent father wants contact.

(3 Posts)
ConfusedDotCom2016 Mon 25-Jan-16 19:35:57

Usual story csa finally caught up to my son's dad and after a DNA test now has to pay maintenance.

He is now requesting contact. Indirect to start with but also wants copies of birth certificates, school details and an address to send cards and stuff.

DS has been asking about he's father so I think indirect contact would be best but via email? As for documents etc I don't know why but I don't feel comfortable sending that untill contact has been established for a while.

I'm worried what effect this could have on my DS. He has had behaviour issues at school before when he's upset or worried about things so does anyone have any tips on how to help him through this?

megletthesecond Mon 25-Jan-16 22:48:21

How old is your ds, 12/13? I was under the impression that the law took a child's wishes into account once they were a teenager.

starry0ne Tue 26-Jan-16 03:03:59

I am assuming DC is at least 12.. So I would talk to Dc about what he wants.

I would firstly email you both have access too not DS normal email address.

I would ignore all the other stuff for now.. My worry is this is a flash in the pan. I am doubting he has PR? If he does he is legally entitled to school reports and sounds like he is going well if I have to pay I will have my entitlement.

I think as for getting through it .. I would tell your DS you will support him in whatever way he wants... My Ds hasn't seen his Dad in 5 years though only 8.. He has said he would just like an hour with his Dad to answer questions. If he says he wants nothing then I would talk to him about this might be only opportunity to get to know his Dad... but ultimately I would support DS...

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