how do you get 'me' time as a single parent

(7 Posts)
peppajay Sat 23-Jan-16 09:13:09

First of all I muse apologise as I am not officially a lone parent as I don't live alone with my children. Although to all intents and purposes I am as my H does nothing with the children. He brings in a wage and does all the housework . He loves his house and this is his top priority. I work in a school so when kids are at school I am at work and all I want is some me time but I never get more than about 20 mins without the kids. I can never go shoppng wirh friends or a girly day out. However I get to go out in the evenings as H is happy to babysit at night as kids are asleep but refuses point blank to do anything with them in the day. They make him ill with their demands mess and noise they are good kids but they will not just sit still in front of the tv to his pure annoyance. So with us staying together I get all the housework done as he does it all, he brings in a wage, I get to go out in the evenings and he will take the kids to school in the monings so i can go to work but the weekends are shit and we have to make sure that we are not noisy or messy and that we are either out or he is out so it is us and him. Anyway we have discussed splitting but as the house is his pride and joy he will never move out and if I left with the kids and set up home somewhere else (with very little money-so it won't happen!) As he has no interest in the kids he will not want to see them so like other single parents I know I will not get a day off at weekend or such like. So from a purely selfish point of view I am probably better off getting my housework done and being able to go out in the evenings. So my question is if I do decide to up sticks and leave if you are single working parent with no involvement from the absent parent how do you get time to yourself??

Lonecatwithkitten Sat 23-Jan-16 11:44:56

Peppa as a divorced person I think you have way bigger problems than just getting time to yourself. I would suggest getting this moved to relationships to get some support.
You are not equal parties in your relationship and the kids are just a symptom of this.
As a lone parent if your child goes to your Ex's you get sometime or you pay a baby sitter ( the role your H is currently performing).

peppajay Sat 23-Jan-16 12:18:43

We do live seperate lives really but I do think life would be a lot tougher on my own as I have said he is helpful in lots of ways just not parenting. I have friends who say I should chuck him out as he is a crap parent and when he he isnt around life is so much more fun and simpler but I think the bigger picture of being on my own with 2 kids probably isn't simpler!! But because I am unhappy as he isn't really being a father to my kids I am seriously thinking of ending it!!

Lonecatwithkitten Sat 23-Jan-16 13:04:37

Peppa by your own admission 2/7ths of your life is shit and 5/7ths is hard work. You need to have a really serious talk with him they are his children too and you should have equal responsibility parenting and equal 'time off'.

peppajay Sat 23-Jan-16 14:00:39

Unfortunately he won't change and I know it. I just need to decide whether I end it or not. I am going out with the kids in a minute and I will come back to a brilliant tidy and clean house. He will hoover and mop the floors dust and sort out all the laundry. So when I think what he DOES do I think I am stupid even thinking of ending it .

Claraoswald36 Sat 23-Jan-16 14:08:32

So you have q clean house but a dh who doesn't even like his children. Leave - I'm sure a slightly messy house but a whole life free from atmosphere and resentment would be better. Assuming your kids are school age - check out the tax credits you will get - plus help with childcare as they will need to go to breakfast club by the sounds of it. If he doesn't want to see them - his loss - he still has to pay you maintenance. Honestly love - leave him and in 6 months you will wonder why you stayed another minute grin

starry0ne Sat 23-Jan-16 14:11:59

I wonder what your children are feeling in a house with a Dad who they have to creep around, you are creeping round...

I agree I would ask for this to be moved to realtionships

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