5 year old hitting, kicking & hurting me

[Bexpboro]

I'm at the end of my tether!
My 5 year old daughter hits, bites, kicks, punches, scratches me and pulls my hair whenever she doesn't get her own way!
She's a big girl, already 4ft3"....she hurts me and I'm scared to say no to her!
I'm a single mum and do everything for her, she won't get dressed herself, wipe her bottom, tidy up her mess, look after her toys etc.....she is running me ragged! I really don't know what to do.
This afternoon she has swimming lessons which she loves, I asked her to go upstairs and start getting ready and her response was "NO!" So I said well you can't go swimming then, anyway after a long battle to get her upstairs to take school uniform off and get ready she threw herself on the bed and again refused to get ready....I was so frustrated I just said fine you're not going and went into my bedroom....she came in and attacked me! I pushed her out of my room and leant on the door so she couldn't come in. She kicked a hole in my door, screamed the house down, told me I'm a horrible mummy, she hated me, wanted a new mum. This went on for about 45 mins....I thought she would calm down but she just got worse! So I opened the door and she just carried on!! So.....to get some peace I'm sat in the coffee shop whilst she's swimming! I'm a mug for bringing her aren't i? But I don't know what to do? Can anyone help me?

[Bexpboro]

Also she loves swimming so I don't understand why she caused such a fuss?

[DoreenLethal]

So I said well you can't go swimming then, anyway after a long battle to get her upstairs to take school uniform off and get ready she threw herself on the bed and again refused to get ready....I was so frustrated I just said fine you're not going and went into my bedroom....she came in and attacked me!

Why aggravate her by saying she won't go swimming in the first place. Just say 'Ok then'.

But you need desperate help [parenting classes?] if you are wiping her and dressing her at 5.

[Bexpboro]

Because I said...come on let's go get ready for swimming....she said no....so I said well you can't go then.

She wipes herself at school, at my sisters, her grans etc but if I'm around she refuses

[cestlavielife]

You need some help. Go to gp get referred to parenting classes.
You and dd need help. you to understand her . You might be able to get access to supernanny type support. Go ask for some help .

[BlackeyedShepherdsbringsheep]

her behaviour is not what one would expect from a five year old.

what techniques do you use?

what is she like when you go shopping?

what is she like in school?

always worth doing a parenting course. if it is parenting issue that will help, if it is another cause, then you have ticked off one of the steps to getting sorted.