Struggling with the summer holidays, lonely , no adult company

(5 Posts)
Nevergoingtolearn Wed 19-Aug-15 09:06:06

I know we are nearing the end though I am dreading the dc's going back and real life continuing.

I split with dh a few months ago, it was my choice and over all my life is much better without him and the dc's are much happier. I was with dh for 12 years and in that time I lost most of my friends and my social life, I have some family which live near by but often they are too busy to support me. I feel like I have no one to talk too. I try and keep busy with the dc's but as soon as they are in bed or off doing their own thing I feel so lonely, I miss having a adult to talk too, I miss having someone to cuddle up too and I miss having someone to argue with.

Today we have nothing planned, one dc is still in bed ( pre teen ), the other is full of energy, the weather is looking bad so I can't really take them anywhere, I'm running out of money to keep them entertained and the park no longer keeps them occupied. I feel like f I stay in all day with them I will go out of my mind. I have tried to arrange to meet with family or dc's friends but everyone's busy or on holiday. I wish I could hide in my bed for the day ( or the week ).

Anyone else struggling?

BlackeyedSusan Wed 19-Aug-15 12:23:08

it gets better each holiday. felt like that the first summer.

I have built up a online life for the evenings. sticking about on certain threads helps. not the same as real life friends sometimes, but goes some way to get the support.

bit tougher when they are older. harder to fob off with free stuff and even cheap stuff mounts up for three of you, even once a week.

do you have a garden? (though it is surprising how this so called free thing can cost money.) planting seeds for next years flowers? den building? fruit picking?

Nevergoingtolearn Wed 19-Aug-15 13:03:52

We have a garden but my eldest (11) is not interested in going outside unless I take her out (and I still have to force her to leave the house ), it was much easier when they were younger. We live in a rural area so there's not much for them to do unless I drive them somewhere (which costs money ).

I talk to a few people online on the evenings and have signed up to online dating but it's hard when I can't go anywhere (no child care ), I think I feel so lonely as I can't see the situation changing for a while, I have no time to go and meet people and I struggle to make new friends.

BlackeyedSusan Thu 20-Aug-15 01:36:22

tis a bit shit. problem with living in the country. mind you, I would not want mine going out where we live either (inner city) things cost here as well, so it may not just be a rural thing at the moment.

every bloody thing costs money at some bloody point. trying to make ends meet and choose things they can do within budget is hard work.

Flowerpower41 Fri 21-Aug-15 15:56:19

My 10 year old boy has been for the past 4 weeks full time at the childminder. She is relatively cheap. Luckily her son is one year older than ds so he has friends his own age and her son's friends drop by and they go out to the park/play football outside etc and there are plenty of gadgets. He has been very well entertained. In the evenings he does bike practice and weekends we rarely go out as there is no money left!

He is climbing up the walls with boredom come 2 p.m. of a weekend day and I am busy frantically doing housework etc. and catching up with endless duties and tasks there is no end to it is there when you are busy all week with work.

We did go out to the West Midlands Safari Park in Worcestershire the early part of the school break but that was the only day out I could run to. It was a great day out though.

I bought him a mountain bike and that was nearly £200 with 3 years warranty as I am not bike friendly and cannot do bike servicing etc. and repairs and maintenance are all included in Halfords.

With the whopping £600 childcare and £200 bike outlay there is zilch left.

Anyway this high amount of childcare costs only applies once a year doesn't it. So it will soon be over - and in a week's time he is off to his dad in London for a week's breather for me - yeh!!

Thank God we only have this run on so long once a year. Parents with families who can do free childcare are so spoilt and I envy them it must help their finances and quality of life so very much.

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