im so broke..i ran out of food today.

[penniless]

and i cant afford to buy anymore
im a regular but ive changed my name because im a proud person.
my dh walked out on me a year agoalthough he hangs around a lot still..he pays maintenance which takes me over the is threshold. so i only get tax creditsbut when we were together i took out a loan..a few years ago when i was earning and now im left with the payments to manage..ive just registered as self employed but im not getting any worki spent a lot of money getting my business up and running now im not getting any return im 500 pounds overdrawn at the banki cant stay afloat anymoreive no money for christmas prersents, no money for anything, the fridge is empty, i cant put petrol in the car,o told my mum today because id got so desperate but she wasnt interested, im so unhappy, how the hell did i end up like this, i dont want sympathy, just wanted to posdt it and get it off my chest

[lissiew]

try the citizans advice. there has to be something. speak to your bank as well about the loan

[Fattymumma]

go to your local CAb first thing tomorrow. get them to speak with the bank and your creidtors they will be able to freeze any interest on yuor borrowings and organise a much lower repayment.

then go to the jobcentre and sort out what you can and can't get, maybe its worth taking a reduction in what you get as maintenance as it may mean you could claim certain benefits that would make things easier for you (housing benefit would pay rent and counil tax for example)

how long do you have before you get anymore money? if you have no food at all you should give your HV a call, there will be local charities and funds that will offer food parcels or food vouchers for people in need.

Pride is great but it doesn't feed hungry mouths, do not be ashamed of your position. you are struggling right now because of the circumstances of the last few months and you are working to try and getyourself back on your feet.
thik of it like this, accept all teh help you can get now and when your back on your feet and running a succesfull business you can repay all those who helped you.

((hugs)) i do know how you feel as i have been there myself, but you just have to swallow your pride and accept the help that is out there.

[MerlinsBeard]

you can get crisis loans but u really need to speak to citiznes advice.

[penniless]

ive been to the citizens advice , they were not all that helpful unfortunately, the thing that upsets me is that i have no credit cards, no other borrowings, the loan was taken out when we were both earning good money.
ive got a hefty mortgage to pay too..i get money every week,straight into my bank but it just goes strasight into the overdraft..cutting down the maintenance wont make any difference as i will only get a maximum of 50 odd pounds a week in income support, so basically, if i cut my maintenance down by say 40 pounds, o would only get that same amount in is anyway.

[penniless]

mumofmonsters..im not entitled to a crisis loan as im not on income support

[webcrone]

You can get free advice on how to reduce your outgoings on debt payments. Any chance of a mortgage repayment break for a couple of months? What kind of help do you want or need with the business?

[ISawTortoiseKissingSantaClaus]

CAB for debts.Im going through them at the moment for credit card and catalogue debts from when my xp2 got moved out.
It will get better.
How old are your dc?
My fridge is also empty and the freezer has only a few bits in it which the DD's don't like.I will have to scrape a few pence together for food until i get Income support tuesday.
I'm sorry for your mums response. I couldn't even tell mine.not that she can help! They live in Turkey now!
I hope you get some work in soon.
(((hugs)))

[Miaou]

penniless - I do empathise with you, it's so crap being poor isn't it?

Won't help you immediately, but have you seen my thread on eating on a tiny budget? Might give you some ideas for the following weeks to come.

Also, have you been in touch with soapbox re. Christmas presents? You don't have to be nominated by other people, you can nominate yourself, you know. It will help ease the burden on you just now.

[penniless]

webcrone-my mortgage doesnt offer repayment breaks.
tortoise, it just sucks doesnt it, im not a stupid frivilous person who ran up lots of debts, everything was fine, then my dh upped and left.
I have more than 3 children whose ages range from teens to toddler(trying not to give too much away)

[penniless]

miaou i havent seen your thread, however ive been existing on 45 pounds a week for grocery shopping, i cook everything from scratch and dont eat out, or junk or anything, everything in my house has a blue stripe!now the overdraft has got so bad, i cant spend anymore, next tax credits due in on weds, i have sat and cried, im upset and angry that because some git walked outr when the going got tough im now in this situation

[Marina]

I just did it for you penniless, I've sent soapbox a link to your thread. You don't have to say who you are on here but if you can tell Soapbox she will match you with at least one Mner who will want to help you this Xmas - anonymously if that is what you prefer

[penniless]

i dont know what to say, no one else will find out who i am will they?

[ISawTortoiseKissingSantaClaus]

It does suck! I was stupid and spent and spent! Just kept adding it to the credit card.It got to just over £4000 before i stopped and got help.
Im surpised the CAB are no help. I'm lucky to get rent and c/tax benifit but am still paying off the c/tax that xp2 didn't pay.I owe about £600 c/tax now!
My xp2 didn't leave.I had to have him removed by court because of abuse to my ds1(incase you haven't read it on mn!)
And i agree you need to get help from all the kind MNers donating christmas presents.

[Fattymumma]

I know this is going to sound really drastic but could you not sell the house and move to a smaller therefore cheaper property?

i know this is not the "by thebook" way of doing things but could your XH not stop maintenance? that way you could claim full benefits...you would get your mortgage covered and you would get ( i dont know how many or the ages of your children so couldn't give you a full amount) a fair bit more than £45 a week.

i know this sounds like your being dishnoest but its not, your Xh could then put the money he would currently give you for maintenance straight onto repaying the debts so he is still contributing but in a different way.

[Marina]

No. Soapbox can work it so you tell her (otherwise she won't know where to send the presents) but the person giving doesn't need to know your details, and I for one wouldn't be remotely bothered about that IYSWIM.
soapbox is very, very trustworthy - go for it

[Mercy]

Could you possibly ask your ex to at least buy some food for the children?

[MarsLady]

ditto Marina

[penniless]

tortoise, thats awful, no i didnt read it on mn.
fattymama, he cant, the arrangement is made through deduction of earnings order with the csa.
marina thank you, i know there is no shame in being poor but, im ebarrassed to say the least, i havent told anyone in rl about this apart from my mum

[penniless]

mercy, i did, he said oh sorry ive got no money what so ever

[Fattymumma]

i find these situations ridiculous. how is it that genuine people like yourself are struggling with 3+ kids on £45 a week and yet you get young kids who walk around blinged up to their eyeballs wearing designer gear and on the dole?

it really makes me angry.

I really would suggest speaking to your local HV, you cannot go through the next 3 days with no money or food and unless you tell someone no one can help you.

It is not your fault you have reached this situation and there is nothing to be embarassed about ( though i know how much easier it is to say than do)
but please please speak to someone in RL who could get you some proffesional help with this.

the legal minimum a person can have (as a single adult) to live on is £44 a week so with 3+ children you MUST be entitled to something.

[Glassofwine]

which part of the country are you in penniless, I don't have much, but could spare some bits for you if you're nearby - just to get by for the next couple of days.

[lissiew]

thats awful. if any of us can help in any way. i know you don't want anyone to know who you are but we've all got into financial difficulty try the cccs www.cccs.co.uk/ they might be able to give you some help

[soapbox]

Penniless - please do email me if you would like to receive some help at Christmas.

I may even be able to persuade a couple of our lovely MNetters to get some help to you early - to get you through the next few weeks

Soapbox1964 at yahoo dot co dot uk

Thanks to those of you who emailed me pointing me in the direction of this thread

[lissiew]

i agree fattymuma. ive been off sick with severe pnd for 12 months and im made to feel guilty about not being able to work yet some people never work because they dont want to lose their benefits.

[Miaou]

Penniless - here is my thread re eating cheaply. We have £120 a month for food for five of us and are managing to stick to that budget.