social services railroading me

(8 Posts)
chickenfuckingpox Tue 16-Jun-15 22:25:32

i would name change but what is the point basically what happened is this

last year my teen daughter told the police her stepdad abused her in the worst way there was no physical evidence and when i made a police statement it turned out her version of events didnt match mine she claimed to be at home on several occasions with him when he was actually with me and she was with other people (im being deliberately obtuse here) he was arrested bailed away from the family home we have two children together they were given supervised access with there dad he was to have nothing to do with my daughter at all then she said she was confused and uncertain about events and she then withdrew the allegation prior to this i had limited contact with childrens services because they were supposed to be doing an assessment right from the start i had issues with the ss she didnt communicate with me she told me nothing about the contact i had to communicate with my ex about it which was uncomfortable for me considering what he was accused of

she rang me and accused me of being with him and our children in town one day which i deny when she came to my house my teen confirmed i was home that day as did my father dh bail was up in january i volunteered to continue the supervised contacts and she agreed to approve my dad for contact supervisor then my dd retracted her statement and all hell broke lose she took it to a child protection conference and all three children were put on the register the younger two for emotional abuse dd for sexual during the meeting she agreed for me to be referred to stronger families she agreed to approve my dad i was to start the freedom program and she was to see the children fortnightly 10 week later she had done nothing she finally (after a call from my solicitor) came out it went badly she verbally berated me shouted at me lied to my dd about things and threatened me with a PLO she wanted me to stop contact with my ex and force it to a court situation i didnt want to do that as the supervised contact was working fine i did not wish to take my kids through court she said she cant cut off contact only i can she was so massively bad behaved i put in a formal complaint via my solicitor this has made her worse

we went to conference the conference chair told her she needed to try harder and berated her for not making her statutory visits he also got her to agree that the children should be seen as individuals and there cases considered separately he made a move to get my youngest of the register which the ss did agree to but no one else did so they all stayed on the recommendations were again that i get referred to stronger families i continue with the freedom program and i needed to text her if my ex came over to collect his possessions (the kids were to be out of the house obviously) also in conference ss agreed to allow my ex to take me unsupervised to my youngest hospital appointment

again nothing happened she made no visits core group came and she demanded time to see dd the conference recommended that she was seen outside of school time as this was her preference ss didnt want to do that so we arranged her a time during school when she could see her she was also supposed to ring dd teacher and get her timetable she didnt see her that week she did accuse me during core group of being seen as resistant to her seeing dd i genuinely wasnt i just didnt have her updated schedule to hand no one did as it was being redone that week she didnt find out till that Wednesday and if ss had gone when she was supposed to she would have told her she was also supposed to call me the week before core group to find out and did not

when she went to see dd, dd was a bit resistant and teen like i know it was because she was being seen in school which is not her preference but she is making it more than that

today i received a letter for a PLO meeting it states they dont believe im protecting my children that im minimizing the risk ex is to my children and putting them at risk

i dont get it i do all they say he has his twice weekly supervised contact only dd has no contact with him i do the freedom program he has no outside contact with them i text every-time he has to collect his things (literally a couple of times) i maintain a reasonable relationship with him for the sake of the children he literally has no unauthorized contact with them no phone or physical she has not referred me to stronger families she has given me a family support worker who i saw briefly i gave her a rundown as to what happened and why things were tense with ss and myself she saw dd and i told her she was supposed to be seeing our eldest she agreed to do that i have chased the family support worker from here to there to get the support for my family we were authorized four sessions two have already passed two to go

ive engaged with children services but by her own admission she has not done enough she has been told time and time again to engage with the family to make referrals and im being accused of not engaging with them what the fuck am i supposed to do now she is accusing me of being groomed and abused by my ex i agree he was not ideal but fucking hell he did not treat us that badly he wasn't perfect but who is and in any case im doing freedom that really is all i can do i literally cant do more than that im terrified im going to lose my children when she asked me to cut off the contact with my ex she told me if i did she would back me in court if i didnt she would take me to court she is now taking me to a plo

i will update later my youngest has just woke up

Floundering Tue 16-Jun-15 22:36:00

Trying to follow but you are clearly upset and the post doesn't make sense in places, sorry.

Is the "she" you talk about the start your daughter, and then later the SW?

chickenfuckingpox Wed 17-Jun-15 05:38:33

yes in the first paragraph its my dd second its my ss sorry

EhricLovesTheBhrothers Wed 17-Jun-15 05:49:18

Have you raised a complaint with the local authority? Have you had a meeting with her manager? Have you gone through a copy of the child protection plan as highlighted everything she hasn't done? She sounds shocking, not to even have completed her statutory visits. She sounds like a social worker who isn't coping. Try not to panic, if it's in PLO you can get legal representation and if the social worker has failed as badly as you say the lawyer will pull their case to pieces.

Wotsitsareafterme Thu 18-Jun-15 19:31:40

If it's going to plo she is considering a care order

chickenfuckingpox Sat 20-Jun-15 07:35:51

ive complained and at the conference a few weeks ago it was highlighted what she had not done and she was told to again do her job properly

i know she is considering a care order but im cooperating and doing everything i have to do there really is no need

ive complained to her manager nothing happened my 15 year old daughter sent a letter to the conference stating she ignores her does not engage with her and insists on disrupting her gcse lessons she asked for a new social worker or for her to see her outside school hours the order of the conference was she should be seen outside school hours a few weeks later she says she wants to see her at school we cant win

my solicitor is useless too im trying to get a new one next week for the plo

it didnt help the social worker put my exs letter through my letter box he is only allowed supervised access and all his supervisors were away this week so he kicked off at me wanting his letter wanting to see me he rang me over thirty times in one day Thursday those were the calls i didnt answer ive got to report it but again she will try and twist it to me doing something wrong or putting the children at risk even though im reporting his bad behavior i should be able to trust her to fucking help me with this!

im ringing woman's aid see what they say i spoke to the lady who runs freedom (the course im on) she is appalled that in the plo letter it clearly states i need to engage about my domestic violence etc but that is the entire point of freedom and she knows im attending she has not even asked the coordinator if im attending and taking part so her accusations dont stack up! arrgh i hate this

27inmyhead Sat 20-Jun-15 07:53:21

Sorry this is really difficult to follow with the 'she' and also 'dh' and 'ex.' It's not clear what the family set-up is/was.

There are very clear and stringent guidelines around child protection, especially when children are deemed 'at risk.'. A lone social worker doesn't make a decision to put children on the register; it would be a team of people, including representatives from the schools.

I understand your distress but try not to panic. If you feel that your social worker is not doing her job properly then complain to her manager. Ask for a different social worker.

Re. your daughter being seen in school hours, I know that is not ideal for her but in my experience that is the norm.

You seem to be clear about what you need to do your end but if there are any misunderstandings or doubts, then sort them out immediately. If you are seen not to comply (to ensure your children are protected) obviously that will cause problems.

Do you have anyone who can support you through this? Maybe someone level-headed who is not too close to it all. It is tricky as an outsider to see clearly what is happening here.

howtorebuild Sat 20-Jun-15 07:59:50

Look at childprotection resources.org I think it is.

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