Have I done the right thing?

(5 Posts)
2little2late2change4now Thu 14-May-15 08:34:33

My exp has been verbally abusive on almost every contact occasion since leaving 3 months ago. I have (despite serious temptation) remained very neutral during this time, although I wasn't at the end of our relationship. Last night after he kicked the door stop, slammed the door and shouted and swore at me I asked him to leave and told him not to return for further contact.
I know this sounds extreme but I am 21 weeks pregnant and I can't take anymore. He is meant to be starting therapy today so maybe that will change things I don't know but it can't carry on. He tells dd who's 2 that he never wanted her and that I've ruined the next 18 years of his life. We don't have a court order or anything and he can't afford mediation but I would willingly go.
I have little support so I've not done this lightly and I don't have anyone to facilitate his contact either.
Have I done the right thing?

HeadDoctor Thu 14-May-15 08:41:12

He tells his daughter he didn't want her?! Then yes, I'd say you've done the right thing. I'd be seeking supervised contact until he's done a parenting course.

2little2late2change4now Thu 14-May-15 09:17:32

He has a 17 year old son from his marriage so he thinks he doesn't need any parenting course because they have a good relationship. He says the issue is me. I know he's just seriously messed up and the stupid part of me that area wants to help him but I just can't anymore, he has to want to help himself. I'm devastated for dd because I never thought he'd be a shit dad

cestlavielife Thu 14-May-15 11:31:21

you have done the right thing but you need to be reporting to police if he kicking off so there is a record.

you dont have court order so you can withdraw contact, however, record carefully what happened and why you taking that step. tell someone.

and dont let him in your house.

BlackeyedSusan Thu 14-May-15 12:18:20

yes, report it to the police. you could ask to speak to their dv unit.

and yes you have done the right thing. but get it on record somewhere why. health visitor?

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