Urgent help please

(10 Posts)
amywitsend Mon 04-May-15 12:54:10

My ex attacked my dd recently and the police were called they had a stern word with him and thought that was the end. After speaking to SS they decided to take no action as I stopped all visits. DD has been speaking to dad or rather the other way around as I believe he is trying everything including following her home from school and bringing presents after dance classes when I'm not there. Now my DD does't believe a word I say and has decided to go live with her dad!! Sorry so brief but lots of history that I am scared to include. What the hell can I do legally to protect her?

financialwizard Mon 04-May-15 12:56:03

Don't want to read and run but I don't know the legal side of this, but I hope someone is along soon who can help you.

flowers

momb Mon 04-May-15 12:56:08

You need to involve SS. How old is she?

amywitsend Mon 04-May-15 13:05:09

Nearly 14 and they said last time that no further visits would be a good idea til court order in place. He's apparently just exercising his rights as a father and told her its a load of bollocks what I said!! He told police when he hit her that she shouldn't visit as its her fault marriage is over as she told her friend about her finding out about her dads affair. Then her mum told me if that makes sense? It all turned out to be true and he was having an affair and it had been going on a while!! He is so messed up I can't even tell you. I am so scared for her because he will lash out again. Should I just ring them and ask them to get involved so to speak?

Starlightbright1 Mon 04-May-15 15:26:55

I would yes call SS...My Niece went to live with my EX when she was that age..SS did refuse to get involved. But I would still talk to them.

I think you are in a very difficult position ..I wish I had wiser words flowers

amywitsend Mon 04-May-15 15:38:51

Thank you.he doesn't respect any boundaries at all. He has an order against him to prevent him coming near me but he still breaks it. he tells people all this is my fault and they believe him!! He denies he had an affair, he denies he's hurt our child. I am genuinely scared for my childs welfare. Its like he has turned into a complete monster and I don't know what to do. I have rung them and they are getting back to me. Should I try and go to court and put an access plan in place if she comes home?

amywitsend Tue 05-May-15 17:15:48

Well SS were less than helpful to be honest, I'm very disappointed. Best course of action is to go to court. She's back home now with lots of brand new gadgets!! But is insistent on seeing him regularly. What if he hits her again and can't she see he is buying her?

Starlightbright1 Tue 05-May-15 19:22:28

do you might think she knows she is been bought.. Teenagers can be very materialistic. .... I do know a girl similar situation who collected all the gifts and then would run back to mum.

If SS aren't very helpful womens aid might be more helpful..It might be worth getting your 1/2 hour free advise..My worry is at 14 they will listen to what your DD wants

cestlavielife Tue 05-May-15 21:48:38

Speak to the safeguarding officer or teacher at your dd school. They will talk to your dd. They can be alert to her behavior at school. If she says she is happy to be with dad and denies everything then they won't pursue but your concerns will be on record. But they will listen to your dd. Just be there for her.

amywitsend Wed 06-May-15 18:17:36

Thanks for the replies I appreciate it. School are fully aware so will see what happens there. You try your best to shield the kids and something like this happens. I'm fed up of always being or feeling like the bad guy

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