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Dad looking for help in a sea of Mums

4 replies

DC2206 · 12/02/2015 10:59

I have scowered the internet for help but starting to think it isn't out there.

I recently became a father and like most I haven't got a clue what I'm doing.
To paint the picture,

Me and the mother dated briefly after separating amicably she discovered she was pregnant, we have kept our relationship platonic.
Now we have a boy and I'm struggling to understand my role and where I fit, I have a lot of questions but no one I feel I can ask as some I'm embarrassed to admit.
Anyway if anyone is able to help or point me in the direction of a place that can I'd be very grateful

OP posts:

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holeinmyheart · 12/02/2015 22:57

Well what sort of questions do you need answering? I can tell you what I needed from my DH when my DCs were born but I don't know if just want official help. If it is, then your HV ( name and no obtained from your GO surgery) would be a good place to start. Your Health Visitor sees lots of families and could tell you something about the role of a man in a family and where you could fit in.

My DH provided practical help, shopping, and financial support. He offered a different perspective on life. He liked sports, so he and the boys watched sport together. He played a lot with all the children, both male and female. I did think he did more rough and tumble with the boys but he did play Barbies with the girls and read stories and cleaned teeth and shoes.
He looked after them if I needed to go out or I had a dental appointment etc.
I think you should ask the Mother of your child what help she needs and go from there. The nicer and kinder you are to her, the more you will be able to be part of your son's life. Also you will be providing a good role model if he can see you behaving respectfully towards his Mum.

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MsMarshmallow · 14/02/2015 20:38

What questions?

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Thisismyfirsttime · 14/02/2015 20:54

A lot of us find Mumsnet because we have stupid, ridiculous questions to ask and once we get here we realise there are lots of people in the same boat and there are always lots of posters who have experience in just about everything who are happy to help a first timer! What questions do you have? There's no manual on parenting as each situation is unique so start with the basics and go from there.