Some practical advice please

[tickertyboo]

A week ago, my four year old told me that his father had allowed him to watch on the computer, a film of a man getting sucked up into a plane engine. I immediately rang his father and asked for an explanation and all he said was that our child clicks on these links and they watch them. He assured me it was just a grainy image, no blood or guts. I then said it was not good enough, at which point he just started screaming at me down the phone. Not the first time this kind of thing has happened. Before this, he was allowing our child to watch train crashes. All of these images are real.

Sought some advice from a helpline which thought it was serious enough to transfer me to the NSPCC. They advised I carried on challenging my child about the images and to tell the school about what had been going on. Spoke to someone at the school on Monday and they said they would arrange a meeting with my ex and someone who deals in child protection at the school. Not heard anything from school yet.

Owing to all this I have not allowed my child to visit his father tonight. I did tell his father that he could see our child at my house, but he was having none of it , put in a very unpleasant text message to me.

I suspect his father has mental health issues. He's been angry with me for four years now, despite attending family mediation twice. He has this idea that I am out to get him and to stop his from seeing our child. All of which makes no sense at all as he has been seeing him every other weekend and one evening a week for well over a couple of years now. I think he's depressed but my priority is our child. What do I do now? My child also told me tonight that his father's kitchen has dust and rats in it.

[Starlightbright1]

The problem with what DS is telling you now.. If he has been watching all sorts on the computer . It is hard to know what is reality and what he has seen.. At 4 it is hard to divide reality and imagination which is why he shouldn't of watched the computer links.

I am not surprised you are concerned.

I would speak to the school on Monday and ask for an update.

[tickertyboo]

Thank you. Yes, will do that. I was going to wait until they contacted me but I'll ask for an update instead.

[cauliflowerfairy]

Why do men so often want to paint the mum as evil and denying access?? Most of us single mums I think would be over the moon if their kids had a dad who was safe, good, willing to take the child half the time and do his bit! Access isn't usually denied without reason, it does happen of course but surely most mums want simply what is best for their child? Sorry it makes me SO angry when dads say they are being cruelly denied access when its for a reason - your child clearly isn't, either. You seem very reasonable. I feel for you, try to ignore his unkind words, and stand strong.

[tickertyboo]

Thank you for your help, and I will stand strong.