Question on access

[jubr75]

Apologise first if this ends up as a moan or a rant!

I have won a court order for residency which entitles my child's father access. He has not seen him for approx 3 months and had contacted me a couple of months back about contact and we agreed a provisional date. He has now contacted me stating he is coming down on a different date and time later in the month. I replied stating that we are unavailable that date and that the original date is still free. He has then said I will hear from his solicitor as I am in breach of the order as I will not let him see him on his dictated revised date.

My belief is that I am not in breach as surely contact is on a mutually agreed time not a dictated time by someone that only wants to see their child once in a blue moon. Obviously if he bothers to put his hand in his pocket and pay for a solicitor I will pass onto my solicitor but wanted to know if anyone else has experienced this and what they have done.

[AnyoneForTennis]

what access has he been granted? if it falls on this day you are unavailable then you should have mentioned it in court

[PajamaQueen]

Is his contact date court ordered?

Do you have evidence of the provisional date being agreed between you both?

[Mumsy75]

The order states contact when he comes back to the UK as he is currently abroad. Doesn't specify a date as he never said at the time if he is coming back.
Also yes got the provisional date on an email.

[Mumsy75]

Oh sorry I'm the same person who started the thread I just changed my username!

[nomoretether]

That sounds like a weak order to me. It should be absolutely clear with either a definite date for contact or a definite date to have agreed a date by.

[PajamaQueen]

If the provisional date is a set in stone date then I can't see you being in breach if you've both agreed to it - you haven't denied access. If it goes to court - take the email to show that it's the agreed date you both decided on.

He can't expect you to drop plans just because he's decided without discussion that he wants a different date. If he really can't do the original date and has a valid enough reason - are there any other ones around the time he's in the UK you could do?

I'd send an email back along the lines of "Sorry, the new date you want isn't good for DC as we planned things thinking you were having contact on the original agreed date."

If you do have an alternative date you can then say, "X date is unavailable but Y is if you're still around."

Keep whatever email you send and he responds with as they will come in handy if he does try and bring it to court. I agree with Nomore too. If it goes as far as court - ask for a more defined order with specific dates.

[Mumsy75]

Ok thanks guys. He didn't give an opportunity to discuss. When I replied saying can't do the new date but the original is still free. He replied saying in being unreasonable and forwarding the mail to his so called solicitor and that I'm not to contact him again.

I suppose I will just keep the original date free and wait to hear!