Ex feeding DC crap

(19 Posts)
Mummy321 Sat 12-Apr-14 18:55:13

I know this is not the biggest issue out there... But it annoys me lots!

I put in a lot of effort into feeding dc good food. So 13 days she has good food.but on his day he feeds her crap! Eg so far today - cereal (don't Know what, is usually coco pops), chocolate spread sandwich only for lunch (white bread), then packed lunch for activity consisting of jam sandwich (white bread) and sweet snack. No fruit all day. I think dinner they are having a fish cake.

He also feeds her late to fit in with him, eg 7 (onwards) dinner and bed 730. With me she eats 5/530 and bed 7/730.

She is 6. He gets really defensive and can't see the issue. She is a good eater and I don't what this to affect her eating habits. I also don't want to be the bad one who doesn't give her lots of sweet treats!

He is refusing to change his approaching, saying "get a judge to tell me what to feed her".

I could tell her that she is not allowed to eat x, y, z with him, and she would listen and do this. I don't think that is fair on her though, is it? Any advice?

madwomanbackintheattic Sat 12-Apr-14 18:57:04

Let it go?

Martorana Sat 12-Apr-14 18:59:57

One day a fortnight? Let it go.

DevonFolk Sat 12-Apr-14 19:01:14

I have a similar problem and just go along with it. There's no point trying to get my ex to change what he feeds her. As far as he's concerned it his time with her and he can do what he likes. DD knows that she'll rarely get sweets out of me and that he'll always give them to her.

Tbh I'm not too bothered. I know she gets a half decent diet the rest of the time and they don't have much time together so it's only fair they enjoy it and what they eat without making it a big deal.

MoonRover Sat 12-Apr-14 19:01:34

Honestly?

Let it go. It's one day in thirteen.

You are right not to involve your dd and tell her what she is or isn't allowed when she is with her dad. It isn't fair, any more than if he started telling her what (for example) she was allowed to watch on tv or play with when with you.

You might not like his food choices but it's hardly abuse.

MoonRover Sat 12-Apr-14 19:03:15

<bursts into song>

Have we all seen Frozen recently? grin

Pick your battles, OP, as long as she's safe and has a nice time with her dad, and isn't actually hungry, poor eating habits aren't something to lose sleep over.

Once a fortnight I'd leave it

Quangle Sat 12-Apr-14 19:11:54

My DCs have eaten nothing but processed carbs today and I'm responsible for it! The rest of the time they are all quinoa and oily fish. One day per fortnight is fine and I wouldn't raise it.

Cupid5tunt Sat 12-Apr-14 19:51:15

Agree that you need to pick your battles. 1 day out of 14 is nothing in the grand scheme of things.

NeedsAsockamnesty Sat 12-Apr-14 21:41:19

I agree with the others pick your battles and try not to even mention it.

mummyOF4darlings Sat 12-Apr-14 21:57:38

I have the same issue it annoys me more when they come home all hyped up however they go for 2 nights a week at weekend and as long as i make sure they have little through the week with me then ive started letting it pass. I know they all brush their teeth well when with dad and he will mix in fruit as snacks think he just gets lazy and opts to take them to mcdonalds or pizza hut or whatever

Lucyccfc Sat 12-Apr-14 23:32:43

My ex was the same and it used to drive me mad. When we went to mediation it was pointed out how annoyed I would be if he tried to tell me what to do with DS when he was with me.

I let it go - it hasn't killed him.

starlight1234 Sun 13-Apr-14 00:15:27

my ex used to see DS 2 hours a fortnight overlunchtime...Was asked to feed him ..it was always a snack...Annoying ..I can understand your frustration but you have to balance it out a bit..One day of crap food a fortnight does not mean no treats at all, although if she was mine would be filled up on fruit and veg the day she returns...

you can't change it best not to let him know how much it annoys you

NeedsAsockamnesty Sun 13-Apr-14 00:50:41

Once you have an idea as to why they do it then it will just amuse you.

It's a lack of imagination and stupidity,some people struggle to show love and affection without using treat type food or buying gifts so they rely on those methods because its the only way they know how to demonstrate love

Or they are intentionally doing it to piss you off.

Both are worthy of amusement not irritation

Polonius Sun 13-Apr-14 01:11:01

Yeah gonna agree with everyone else.

A little crap food never bothered me anyway.

This is one to let go. There will be more important things in the future that you will need to worry about.

Your Ex is your child's parent and has every right to make the call about what to feed her when she is with him. Even if he is making poor decisions.

To be really honest, and I don't want this to sound harsh, what are you are trying to do is control him, and it's not really fair, and I can see why he would get defensive about it.

3xcookedchips Sun 13-Apr-14 13:31:53

Giant, I'm scared...that's twice in a week where we agree(somewhat)...

3xcookedchips Sun 13-Apr-14 13:32:06

Giant, I'm scared...that's twice in a week where we agree(somewhat)...

BlackeyedSusan Sun 13-Apr-14 23:30:50

not ideal. but, there are a lot worse diets he could feed her. she may be getting the healthy food message from school shortly and if you are lucky it will sink in and she will pester daddy for some fruit along with the sweeties. 6 is about the age you get, my teacher says...

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