Is there really any single male talent out there?!

(11 Posts)
equinox Wed 02-Apr-14 06:41:07

Hi all just wanted to pick all your excellent brains and life experiences ladies!

I have been a single parent since my boy was 5 months - he is now 9 - I did not think of dating until he was in school since I had him when I was 41 so had had plenty of relationships in the past - I know they are not all they are cracked up to be!

I started to survey the dating scene online for a couple of years but was far from impressed.

I now just leave it to chance. I date say two men a year for about two months then it falls by the wayside owing to their support issues.

To my mind it is almost impossible to find one with support needs no higher than my own - they aren't carrying a child on their own like us - yet they do not appeaer to be coping as well as us. We are stronger than the men out there if you ask me. I refer to single men here. As for the marrieds or the cohabiting ones to my mind their other halves have made them more normal through caretaking etc.

Any thoughts? I despair that I will ever find one who has sufficiently strong coping skills like us!!

If we need to carry one more child I really do not see the point lol.

I am looking forward to your views!

Russianfudge Wed 02-Apr-14 08:05:39

Hi equinox - which dating sites are you using? In my experience some are better than others. Generally the ones that you pay for have a better calibre of man on them with more maturity.

I won't go in to it too much at the risk of sounding horribly smug, but I did find a good man online. He has some baggage with a batty ex and a high maintenance daughter (aren't they all though, I had one of my own wink) but he is very self sufficient and not man-child-like grin

I did have to persevere though, there are lots of men out there who want to be your surrogate child

equinox Wed 02-Apr-14 08:25:21

Hi Russian - good on you - however I found that the same men were on the paid dating sites as well as the unpaid dating sites.

I don't use the dating sites any longer I stopped those years ago - they seemed to attract more nutters than anywhere else in my experience! So I leave it to my work contacts friendship circle and any meet up groups I go to.

That said there is still nothing out there although I am not at all needy or desperate!

Russianfudge Wed 02-Apr-14 08:29:27

Oh that's crap. I don't know then, there definitely are a load of knobbers out there hmm

What about an interest club? Not that that is easy with a nine year old to think about.

Sorry not really much help then thanks

equinox Wed 02-Apr-14 09:24:51

Hi Russian yes I have finally found another babysitter - they are hard to come by in this location - and I am venturing into the meet up territory again it is an international social group website excellent for single people.

Will test the water on the babysitter front in the very near future! In the meanwhile do share any experiences ladies!

3xcookedchips Wed 02-Apr-14 09:42:47

Yes.

ShineyBlackShoes Wed 02-Apr-14 17:52:36

No

WheresMyWaistGone Wed 02-Apr-14 22:45:17

Good evening Ladies

Equinox - I'm with you. There are some real wierdos on the dating sites - I'm 37 and seem to be most attractive to still-spotty 25 yr olds... I have had a meaningful exchange with one guy (initiated by him) and then, just as we were about to meet up, he decided that the distance was too much...hmm why contact me in the first place then?!

x

equinox Thu 03-Apr-14 08:32:44

Hi again all

Yes I do agree with you WheresMyWaist.

I think the best routes are through workplace/hobbies/meet up groups etc. Or word of mouth from normal friendship circle etc.

I do know a few people who have successfully found love online but I do not see it being the 1 in 5 that is statistically reported .....! Others may well say a different story.

It would be interesting to hear people's experiences of love found through other routes too i.e. workplace etc. like I have outlined above. Are these the more functional routes do we think?

WheresMyWaistGone Thu 03-Apr-14 09:11:00

Morning!

Funnily enough I have found someone through work, which though conventional, what we do and how we met makes it unconventional! However, my parents are very anti. I'm 37, he's 51 and separated (for ages before we met) but not divorced which apparently makes me no better than my cheating ex... Stressing me out big time.

x

equinox Thu 03-Apr-14 09:43:10

Oh dear WheresMyWaist your parents do sound rather strongly opinionated some people never get around to the divorce itself a neighbour and friend of mine is the same. He has still separated long since however. I think it is a lot of hassle and money for some people so they don't crack on with it.

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