DS1 is 9 and is having a lot of emotional issues surrounding his Dad. Summary is, ex and I split in May 2012 (having previously separated in Nov 2009, we had been 'dating' again for 6months.) In October 2012 ex met his NP, within 6 weeks they were engaged, living together, and she was expecting. Me and ex also have DS2 (7) and his NP has DD (13) and DS(11).
The last year has been very difficult, ex refuses to spend anytime with the DC on their own, apparently his DSC get upset if they aren't allowed to join in, and it's not fair on them. This probably wouldn't be a problem if DC had been given a chance to accept the change in circumstances before having it forced upon them IYSWIM. Little things like the DSC calling ex Daddy, and DS1 being told that he's not his Dad's 1st child anymore, DSD is!
DS1 is having pastoral support at school for this, and they are looking at the possibility of a CAMHS referral.
And now for my current problem.
Ex messaged me this week saying that DS1 keeps hitting DS2 when they are there and that I need to 'sort him out' I'm not sure what this means, but other than the odd (normal IMO spat) they don't hit eachother here.
I said as much to ex, and suggested he speak to DS1 about it. He said he has.
I sat down with DS1 and had a chat about it all. He says that Daddy hasn't actually 'asked' him why, but just yelled at him. (I fully believe this BTW as I know my ex)
Basically, DS1 has told me that he hits DS2 because he is cross and sad with Daddy, but can't hit or shout at him.
I have told him that he also isn't allowed to hit his brother, or anyone else for that matter!
If I try and tell ex what DS1 has said, he will just say that I am making it up/jealous etc.
DS1 has tried to tell him before, he written him letters and spoken face to face. His Dads response is that he needs to 'grow up and get over it'
I am going to speak to his teacher again this week, but what else can I do? Should I be discipling DS for things that happen at their Dad's? Or is it (as I believe) his responsibility as they are in his house?
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How can I deal with this?
11 replies
IneedAwittierNickname · 12/01/2014 18:37
OP posts:
NatashaBee ·
12/01/2014 19:28
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