Sad mummy here!! :(

(16 Posts)
nicoleandcorey13 Sun 01-Dec-13 17:53:12

I have a little boy, he's 2 in february. Me & his dad have been split a while now but there was one night, which resulted me in getting pregnant! Now myself I do not believe in abortions & refuse to do it. But now he has threatened to not be a part of my sons life if go through with the pregnancy, I know I'm a good mum & have coped on my own with my little boy all the times his dad hasn't wanted to know. But obviously its going to be a little harder with a newborn & a 2 year old, I'm not working at the minute, I'm studying & have all the help I'll need moneywise. So please someone give me some advice?! Do I do as he says so my son doesn't miss out on a father, or do it not do it & tell him its his loss sad

MamaMumra Sun 01-Dec-13 17:55:44

Oh nicole he is being horrible. Do what you want to do - not because he is threatening you. If he could just turn his back on his son then he isn't worth having around.

It is utterly his loss. thanks

nicoleandcorey13 Sun 01-Dec-13 18:06:49

I do want to keep this baby, I know I can do it, it is his loss. He's actually a rubbish dad, only cares about money & consoles x

ZombieMonkeyButler Sun 01-Dec-13 18:12:26

What a complete and utter arsehole!

Yes, of course the father has the right to express his feelings regarding a pregnancy but, ultimately, whether to carry on or not is the woman's decision. If he was so determined not to father another child with you then why did he not use a condom?

As for him saying that he will cut contact with his DS if you do keep the baby, well just angry. What a twat.

ajandjjmum Sun 01-Dec-13 18:16:04

Sad to say, but your DS would probably better off without him in the long term - or at least, until your exP grows up.

MamaMumra Sun 01-Dec-13 18:20:55

He is an utter arsehole. Good for you - you will be brilliant.

nicoleandcorey13 Sun 01-Dec-13 18:37:44

Thanks ladies, just needed a bit of reassurance really aswell as advice.

I've already said these things to him, Ie well we both did it without the condom.

Can I also ask what DS means? I'm new to the site thanks xx

Bumply Sun 01-Dec-13 18:41:55

What if you had an abortion and somewhere down the line he stopped seeing your son anyway?
Do what feels right for you.

Bumply Sun 01-Dec-13 18:42:49

DS= dear son

rainbowfeet Sun 01-Dec-13 18:48:14

Your decision & yours alone... Do what is instinctively right for you & don't look back smile

I was in the same position 2 yrs ago.. I chose to have my ds knowing full well I'd be a lone parent, to me that was a better option than having to live the rest of my life trying to come to terms with aborting him!! It has been tough I won't lie still is 21 months on but I'm coping & think I'm doing an ok job!!
His dad has never even acknowledged him but that's his loss x good luck

Do what you feel you want to do. If he is so comfortable with the idea of not bothering with his son you may find it a reality at some point whether you have this baby or not.

Focus on yourself and DS. Do you have any support?

ProtectiveMother Sun 01-Dec-13 21:21:23

Be sure now for legal reasons not to put him on the birth cert this time! :-)

ghostonthecanvas Sun 01-Dec-13 21:28:08

You do what is right for you. You sound very together.
Welcome by the way wine
Can I say as a note of caution, if that is you and you DS real life names you are using as your user name on here, perhaps something more anonymous would give you more privacy?

nicoleandcorey13 Mon 02-Dec-13 11:45:48

How is it I change my username?

Thank you everyone thanks

I am keeping the baby regardless to what he says or tries to force me into.

I do have support but I feel better asking other mums about this too

XX

ghostonthecanvas Mon 02-Dec-13 15:34:20

Hi. If you are on your fone click on sections. My mumsnet is there. Click on that. Then follow the instructions.
Good luck with everything.

cls77 Mon 02-Dec-13 15:37:51

He could bugger off out of DS's life if you didnt have the baby anyway! What an arse....
Do what you know is right OP, you will be able to cope, probably more than you realise right now. Money and college/job stuff will sort itself out, yes it will be hard but you can do this smile x

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