Suitable contact for DS (2.5) and DD (10m)

(8 Posts)
alphacourse Wed 20-Nov-13 15:12:31

Hi

I'm looking for ideas and guidance please for suitable contact for my 2 DC with their father. I'm finding it so hard! Any suggestions would be gratefully received please!

lostdad Wed 20-Nov-13 16:05:50

Before you listen to anyone else here you should speak to your DC's father. Come to an agreement and compromise in making sure they have great childhoods.

You are his parents and are there better placed to know what that is than anyone else on the planet.

alphacourse Wed 20-Nov-13 16:21:11

I agree in principle - but DC father is not an agreement and compromise kind of man sadly. He will try to dictate what he wants without considering what is best for the children.

starlight1234 Wed 20-Nov-13 19:58:46

I don't think there is a right and wrong..It has so many variables, do you both work, Are children in childcare. Is youngest still breast fed.

Do factor in that in a couple of years oldest will be in school, Distance you are living apart.

Good luck

Monetbyhimself Wed 20-Nov-13 20:02:44

Other factors to consider- how much hands on childcare does he do at the minute, does he deal with night wakenings, cope with sickness etc?
What is your gut feeling and how much does that differ from what he wants ?

lostdad Wed 20-Nov-13 22:38:56

OP - you and your ex are equally able to meet your DC's best interests and neither of you has a veto over the other. From what you say it looks like neither of you is willing to shift their position.

If you think one thing and he thinks the other try compromise. If need be, go to mediation. Google National Family Mediation and give them a call. Don't leave things to get bad and go to court.

HopSkipJumpFroggyHopSkipJump Sat 23-Nov-13 13:26:37

How long are they both happy with him alone? Start slowly and build up if he's not been very hands on.

KingRollo Sun 24-Nov-13 14:33:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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