I split up with H in April this year. Currently we are selling the family home with the plan to each rent separately when it is sold. At the moment he is staying with a friend.
In terms of our relationship, I can find him a bit bullying at times and we've gone through a bit of an unpleasant patch, but for the last 3 weeks or so he has been speaking to me like a decent human being and being quite helpful etc. I don't think he actually means to be as abrasive as he is or even realises, but when he's in one of his moods I find him very difficult to be around.
DD absolutely adores him. She sees him twice a week at the moment - on a Thursday night and all day Saturday. He is like the golden Daddy - she lights up every time she sees him. He adores her too.
She is 7 years old. She has found it pretty hard to get her head around the fact we are getting divorced. Now and again she makes a clumsy attempt to try and match-make between us.
Last night, H brought DD home for the evening and said in front of DD that we need to talk about Christmas.
DD then enthusiastically laid out her plan that he comes round first thing on Christmas morning and stays until the evening and we all do Christmas together. (She already has asked if he can stay on Christmas Eve and I have told her no).
I think what STBXH was talking about was when he'll get a chance to have her over the holidays and take her to see his family - but obviously DD is very hyped up about Christmas. I don't think he realised that in mentioning Christmas in front of her she'd be suggesting things and getting excited.
It was agreed that he and I would email to discuss it and sort it out, but DD became very upset because she thought that we didn't like her idea, and after her Dad left she was crying at the thought of him not being over here for the entire Christmas day.
Now for my daughter, I can put up with STBXH being around all Christmas day. The thing I'm concerned about and hoped to get some opinion on before I talk to him about it is would that be confusing for DD? I know she fantasises about us getting back together again and I don't want to build up her hopes with a "happy family" Christmas just to dash them afterwards.
At the moment I am leaning towards inviting STBXH around the for the whole day. I actually don't mind his company when he's not being abrasive and moody around me, so we could probably make it nice for DD - just don't want to do the wrong thing long-term.
Any thoughts? Thanks
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How to do Christmas
21 replies
NightOfTheCactus · 25/10/2013 11:24
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