So bloody mean.

(9 Posts)
Onebuddhaisnotenough Sun 29-Sep-13 11:46:10

angry
Kids just home from Exs. They've only just started having overnights because of his abuse. A couple of weekend ago they took a photo of me to have in their bedroom there. Just a normal, small holiday snapshot. Ex helped them stick it on the wall with blue tack.

There are lots of picture of Ex in our home. Much as it galls me eldest DD has a montage of old family pics on her bedroom wall. I even have some pics of him in a digital frame in the living room.

The picture of me at their dads has disappeared. Ex and OW had a row in front of the kids and she admitted taking it down. He told her to give it back to the kids. She 'can't remember' where she put it.

Eldest is angry as he knows that it's probably gone in the bin. Little ones are just confuse and unsettled by the row.

Bitch sad

feelinlucky Sun 29-Sep-13 11:50:26

Well, hmmm.... Words fail me. Clearly she's feeling threatened by you. Poor little kids. This is a difficult situation. I guess all you can do is be lovely mum that you clearly are. I think all you can so is accept that this is not the type of person you will be able to reason with. How very sad.

TwoStepsBeyond Sun 29-Sep-13 12:18:32

At least your ex is on your side and his row with OW shows that he understands how out of order she was. Send a huge framed replacement photo, she needs to understand that the DCs are allowed to have photos of you in their rooms. No need for them round the rest of the house, but in their room is fine. She obviously feels insecure, as you call her OW I presume she met him while he was still with you, so she knows he has issues with fidelity and is probably jealous that he was still with you while 'dating' her. Serves her bloody right if she's now reaping the rewards of that.

I don't particularly love that there are cosy family portraits on the bedroom walls at DP's house of him, ex and their DCs in happier times. I'm not sure it particularly helps the DCs to be constantly reminded of them all as a family unit either, and I did ask him to move the one from the living room as it made me feel uncomfortable seeing them all snuggled up together as a happy family when were all sitting watching TV. However, I would never object to one of her and the DCs or just her in their rooms, that is totally OTT.

TheWinterOne Sun 29-Sep-13 12:27:13

If it's their bedroom I can't see the problem. At the end of the day your ex-s home is also your children's home and they should feel like it is too. I'd semi understand if there was a photo of you in the living room as it may make her feel slightly uneasy but in their own room - no I can't see a problem.

As a mum with an ex and as a step parent I have no problem with my step children having a picture of their mum (if they wanted) - the same as I have no problem with my daughter having a photo of her dad in her room.

When my DSC are here there's room sharing but they each have a space to call their own and decorate how they like.

KatyPutTheCuttleOn Sun 29-Sep-13 12:43:20

OW is BU but then you know that. I'm sorry that you and your kids are having to go through this.

clam Sun 29-Sep-13 12:56:46

She "can't remember" what she did with it?

Fine. Send a replacement then.

What a bitch.

Stroppygoddess Sun 29-Sep-13 19:17:14

Her relationship with your Ex is doomed. He sounds a bastard and she will be better off without him just as you are.

Tuckshop Sun 29-Sep-13 19:32:17

That's so not on. Poor kids. Speaks volumes about her and her ability to act in their best interests. I'm not sure, as tempting as it is, that I would send a replacement. I might stay out of it and leave that for your ex to do. At least he has called her on it so he may well replace it himself?

starlight1234 Wed 02-Oct-13 13:38:31

I would be pleased Ex stood up for you kids..I would also send a replacement...

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