I have been worried for some time about my 9 year old dd, as she does not seem happy. We moved just over a year ago and she has not settled into her new school very well, she hasn't really made any friends although academically she is doing well. She comes home from school and all she wants to do is play on her itouch, I try to get her to join in with things but she isn't interested. Any clubs/activities that I have tried to get her into hsve only lasted a few weeks before she loses interest.
I split with her dad when she was 13 months old, and since then she has seen him every other weekend, and more during the holidays. I also have a 3 year old dd, and I am no longer with her dad, he is a nutter so she has no contact with him.
When dd1 goes to stay with her dad she has a great time. He lives in a cabin in a field, with 3 other families living on the same land. There are 3 other girls there around her age there and they all have a great time, and spend loads of time outside running around and building dens etc. when she comes back from her dads she is generally a lot happier in herself and more sparky and eager to engage.
It occurred to me last week, after dd1 was crying because she didn't want to go to school, that maybe she would be better off with him and going to the same school as her friends that lives with. I didn't say anything to her but I called her dad and talked it through with him, and he seemed really keen to have her. That said he did have reservations about whether or not he would be able to cope as he has never been a full time dad. He is useless at brushing her hair, washing clothes, etc and he would have to get organised with things like packed lunches which I don't know if he could cope with. He would have to buck his ideas up quite dramatically and then there is also the financial side of things, he doesn't know how he would manage money wise (after telling me for years that I am getting a fortune in tax credits he now doesn't think he can live on the same amount!).
I really don't know what to do. I will miss her like crazy if she goes but I want her to be happy. It seems he must have mentioned something to her about it as she told me today she wants to go to the same school as her friends. He lives a couple of hours away so I would just have her at weekends. Help!
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Aaaaargh, daughter wants to live with dad during the week, what to do?
14 replies
Beavie · 23/09/2013 13:41
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