I really, really shouted at my DS this morning. At one point, I actually screamed a sentence at him - 'Would you please just do as you are told'.
He was doing his usual trick of arguing and faffing about and delaying getting on with getting ready. And we were running late this morning, so he really needed to get a move on and he was going slower than a snail. He doesn't get the concept of 'quickly'.
The problem is, I know he's like this! I know that we should do things a different way round in the mornings, and that was the plan this morning, but for some reason we didn't end up doing it the 'right' way. So yet again, 20 minutes before we were due to leave, I was getting on at him to hurry up and get washed/brushed/dressed etc. So, it was ultimately my fault that we were in this position yet again this morning. But I still shouted at him (after asking and telling him in a normal voice several times, I hasten to add!). And I feel absolutely awful and ashamed of myself and embarrassed and guilty. Yes, he should have done as he was told, but I am completely aware that he dilly-dallies allthetime, so I shouldn't have lost it at him.
Just needed to get that off my chest, no-one needs to respond. Thanks for reading
everybody reaches their limit sometimes -don't beat yourself up over this. You know this isn't the way you want things to be which is prob why you feel so bad. How old is he? Can he read a clock? maybe a list or a picture chart of what he should be doing at any particular time would help him try to keep up the pace?
Thanks Inkspellme. He's 7, and he sometimes just does exactly what he is supposed to, so he know what needs doing and is capable of doing it. I have previously used a stopwatch/timer, and that works most of the time, although not always. He can't read a clock properly yet, he is learning to slowly, but can't quite grasp it just yet. I do tell him that we have to leave when the big hand reaches the 2, but he really has no concept of how time passes, so he'll be shocked when it gets to the 2 and he's only done one thing, iyswim. I think I'll just have to rigidly stick to the plan I've set out for getting ready in the mornings, and not let anything divert us from that. And work on counting to 10 before responding to him (although if I don't answer him within half a second, he moans at me!), as I'm not at my best in the mornings.
Hi cestlavielife, thank you for your suggestions. I did in fact have to use a wipe this morning, as we just ran out of time for him to shower. It'll have to be a bath after school. We do have a timer, which he is pretty good with most of the time. Although he tends to keep fiddling with it, so I have to have it out of his reach. I don't know why I didn't use it this morning. We did make it to school on time, and we parted with a kiss, a hug and a smile, so I can't have done him any lasting damage
Def no lasting damage! I suppose its just a matter of sticking rigid to routine so it will just become a habit ideally. My ds, who's 10, was like this but got better with maturity. I find that 10 mins wake up earlier with just a chat and a bit of joking helps a lot as neither of us are jump out of bed and get going fast people!
I feel for you having done similar (and shouted worse things). But I did find that the stress, upset and guilt of "losing it" actually motivated me to make changes to the morning routine, and forced me to make sure they definitely happened. More important (for a while) to sit in bathroom making sure DD brushing teeth (not playing in sink) than making myself a packed lunch (which I could buy if necessary). Wake up kids at 7am (without fail even if I'm halfway through eating breakfast myself and fancy another quiet few minutes).
At that age, a written list of things to do helped DS who simply couldn't keep track of what needed to be done. Less helpful for DD who is her own little stubborn self at times.
Been there a fair few times, each time it has motivated me to change my methods. That's what my dd2 seems to need - variety. We have changed our routines many times... nothing works except changing it yet again!! I did go through as stage of taking photos of her doing various parts of her morning routine and laminating them and making them into a re-usable sticker chart with velcro on the back! She loved that. Every now and then we will still reach crisis point and I will lose it, but when I am being told off for 'wasting her time' [dd2's fave phrase] during the morning rush, then I think the odd meltdown from me has got to be allowed!!! dd2 is 8 and I work full time.