Hi,
My DS is 7; i've been separated from his dad for 4.5yrs, we co-share parenting 50/50; are civil to each other (sometimes even friendly), both of us are in long term happy relationships with new partners, both of whom our DS adores. It's all good on paper. Apart from the terrible guilt that i feel about the fact that DS has this split life, two homes, has to always be with either mummy OR daddy, remember constantly to pack the things/toys he wants to have to play with in a bag to take to school, often realising he's left something important at the other parent's house that he needs for PE or whatever...
The last couple of weeks he's started doing this thing where he gets into a real strop at bed time, i don't know why, and he just lies in bed crying and won't look at me / talk to me. I end up getting cross because i don't know what's going on, and give him an ultimatum (talk to me or i'm going downstairs - you can call me back when you're ready to talk) at which point he cries more and begs me not to leave the room, then turns his back on me and we start all over again. Doesn't want me to comfort him or touch him. Three times in 2 weeks. I don't know if he's testing boundaries, trying to exert some control or what - but it makes me really cross. Eventually he will say something like 'i thought you weren't going to read me a story' or 'you said you were coming to help me brush my teeth' - a totally made up issue of some kind (i always come if he asks and we always have a story) and we make up and have a cuddle but the whole process takes almost an hour and i find it really difficult. I feel cross with him for behaving that way, and guilty that maybe he finds life difficult because of the circumstances and how unsettling it must be to constantly be swopping houses... and he can't articulate it. Then i feel guilty for being angry with him, and the guilt overwhelms me to the point that i am tearful and unable to sleep.
I don't know how to handle it and i really need some advice.
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shared parenting struggle - my ds's behaviour vs. my guilt
5 replies
PintandChips · 17/09/2013 13:47
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