Due to finding out about ongoing and serious welfare issues when XH has the dcs, I have stopped direct contact (under advice from NSPCC, gp, HV, SS). I really hated doing this because the dcs love their dad, but their safety has to come first. He was seeing them about once a month for a weekend when he could make time (so no regular pattern).
I've asked him to take me to court so Cafcass can assess everything, I know he is capable of bullying me into thinking he's reasonable, so I've taken the decision out of my hands IYSWIM. 2months later he still has not applied to court.
I've offered indirect contact and supervised contact in the mean time. He's ignored the supervised contact completely, but taken me up and asked to call the dcs once a week at a set time.
Four weeks in and last night no phone call. The dcs were disappointed.
He's texted this morning saying his phone ran out of batteries (so basically he forgot) and can he phone tonight. We're busy this evening, but should I be trying to rearrange? I've always been incredibly flexible but I'm tired of him taking the piss. He's always letting the dcs down. I used to never tell them when he was coming in case of a last minute "swap" request. So they'd never know, but I thought he could manage half an hour a week. Sadly not.
So, should I say "fine, call at x" or "you missed the arranged time, call next week"?
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Need advice on what to do. He's taking the piss... Again.
McNameChangey · 17/09/2013 10:08
`Is it just me or is it that good parents are wracked by guilt and convinced they're always doing something wrong, whilst bad parents think they're the best at everything?'
Hard innit? There's no point trying to reason with the unreasonable. At the start of the year my ex sat outside with my son in driving freezing rain in a car park for handover rather than hand him over early or even sit in my car to stop them catching their death....but a couple years earlier sent me a letter via her solicitor that he'd gone back to her from me with hypothermia.
One day I'm going to write a book. It'd have to be fiction though because no one would believe it!
Jeez, lostdad, that's insane!
Can we replace exes? You can be my ex and I'll be yours and it can all just be sensible and reasonable?
The book would never be published because the characters aren't "believable" enough.
Works for me McNameChangey! 
My main aim is to have a quiet life with as little grief as possible. Had enough of that to last a lifetime!
Sounds perfect!
I would like no drama, secure dcs who can rely on both parents for emotional and physical support, and... Well, that'll do really.
Feel free to be early to meetings, if we're both early you can whisk the dcs away. (I think the most on time XH has ever been is 20 minutes late)
Feel free to bring the dcs home muddy and exhausted too. As long as they're happy and safe all is good. If you ever return them spotless I'll have to assume they spent their whole day tied to a chair
This would work...my ex is fine with everyone except me. She'd be as happy to swap me for someone else as I would with her. I wouldn't be offended!
I think a large scale ex exchange scheme would be good.
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