yes it's the thought that this could be it for the rest of my life. I've probably only got about 15 years before the dcs are spreading their wings- I don't think I could cope with just my own company day in day out.
I have a couple of aunts who have been single since their 20's after leaving abusive relationships (now both 50's) and I just couldn't imagine getting to that age and still not having someone.
I'm in exactly the same boat. Late 20's, been single for over 2 years after being married for 8 years to an abusive arse and at least 4 friends and my sister got married this year. Tried POF and met a guy who I was crazy about but he turned out to be an arse too and it's so hard to trust again after being in an abusive relationship. I've deleted my account as I have too much going on and no sitter for dates.
I have no friends outside of work and can never get a babysitter. It's so disheartening to think that this is it, I might never be in a truly loving and functional relationship and i'm not getting any younger so if it's hard to meet guys now, what will it be like in my 30's/40's. I'm also so tired of being bored and lonely, there is nothing to look forward to. Being a single Mum sucks big time (although it beats being with an abusive mofo!!!)
I am changing job although not sure that will help me much as i'm registering to be a CMer, unless there are lots of single dads needing childcare
it's very hard to arrange mutual babysitting. as I said I have very few friends and we all have different things going on that would make it impossible for any of us to commit to a weekly arrangement. best friend and I have just had to cancel plans to attend a 2 hour poetry reading on sat as her EXP has let her down with childcare. and I never know until I've been let down by exp that i'm going to be let down. he apparently hasn't mastered the telephone . mutual babysitting just isn't possible for us.
volunteering is a possibility depending on work.
nightclasses- again- no babysitter and money I don't have.
I do love living on my own- I don't want to be moving in with anyone or getting married any time soon but It would just be nice to have someone in my life that cared about me and I enjoyed being with.
Single mummy here too, for 2 1/2 years, and had 1 brief relationship in all that time. Not met anyone. Also tried POF but no men reply if I message so pretty useless. ExP (DS dad) is getting married this month as well though frankly they can have each other. In some ways I love it. I get time to do what I want when I want outside of work, but would also like to meet someone. Just need motivation to get out man hunting.
I have no idea how people do it either. I've been single for almost 5yrs. Work and the kids has to come first, any random spare hour I spend at the gym. My last evening out was december . If I didn't work, or had a break from the dc's every so often then it wouldn't be so hard to meet someone. But I can't change that, so I just grumble on here.
Also, XP was abusive so I am very scared he would flare up if he thought there was the potential of the kids having a stepdad. We've not heard from him in 4yrs and I want to keep it that way.
it's getting beyond a joke now. late 20's, everybody is getting engaged, married, buying houses together, going on couples holidays and i'm still in the same position I was 8 years ago- single parent, no other half or even brief romances. exp left 3 years ago and met his now fiancée 3 months after we split, they've bought a house and are getting married next year. people I know have split up and met new people in a matter of months. how? i'm aware my situation doesn't help- I have no cash to go out socially, I work by myself, for myself so no colleagues and I rarely meet my clients, I have very few friends and those that I do have have as little money as I do so we don't go out- we sit in. I tried POF for about 6 months but it was actually costing me quite a lot of money just to even get to the 'dates' as there doesn't seem to be any people near to me, or at least none I was interested. and then when I got there there would be no chemistry or the person wasn't as they said they were or just not my type or I wasn't theirs. I never got a second date. so I deleted the account, waste of time and money for me. I got up the courage a few months ago to let someone I fancied know I was interested. they reciprocated, we went on a date and then nothing. when he did get back in touch I asked him why he's gone no contact and he said he didn't want a relationship so why start out as if you do? or maybe he was sparing my feelings? I don't even trust my own judgement now as clearly I cannot read the signals. how the hell am I supposed to meet anyone? I am so crap at this.