I am not actually lone parent, but I have a "separated parent" issue which has arisen between myself and my ex (father of 2 of my children).
We have a Court order for exactly 50:50 residency, alternate weeks. The children are young (primary) and do not see the other parent during the whole 7 day period. He has always refused any deviation to the Court order even a few hours here or there. It is a consent order and has a written provision in it for us to deviate from the Order if we agree on an alternative solution for any period.
Anyway. I have been trying for ages to get him to agree to having the children overnight once during their week with me and me doing the same. He has always used excuses that we are all too far away etc. We have now moved much closer, so that's not a problem anymore. They are so young I feel alternate weeks may work better for older children but they miss their mummy (and daddy actually!) for such a long period each time!
Recently he has admitted the reason he won't let the children ever spend extra time here over and above exactly 50:50 is he is worried I will claim maintenance from him by notifying the CSA. I reassured him but he still refused.
After much badgering and a failed attempt at mediation he has finally agreed that he thinks it is best for them to not go a whole week without seeing each parent, he agreed to me having them one night during "his" weeks every single week and he would have them on "my" weeks when he could, around work. This was all done via text message a few weeks back. We agreed it would start next week.
He has text this morning to say he's changed his mind. His sole reason is he has called the CSA and found out how much I "could" claim from him, and me having the extra night per fortnight makes a difference. He said he cannot risk having to pay me any maintenance so is now refusing them to come to me as previously agreed. :( I have never asked him for maintenance or contacted the CSA by the way. He said he is "protecting himself and the children" for possible financial hardship I could cause them. FFS!
Any advice? Anyone had contact restricted / changed to financially benefit the other parent. I just wonder how many NRP's have their contact restricted or lowered so the RP gets to claim more maintenance or doesn't lose any maintenance.
I have texted him back and said " Our children are not pay-per-view! Would you prefer I rented them from you at a pre agreed nightly rate?" as I was so bloody cross! Not my most controlled of moves but I feel a valid point all the same :(
I am tempted to just say "oh well, agreement already made so tough". But I know he will claim the agreement (by text) is not worth anything as it is overruled by the Court Order and he'd probably call Police and try and get the children returned back to his house that night, and I don't want them upset.
I have no intention of claiming any money off him via CSA or otherwise I might add.
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9 replies
mumtobealloveragain · 11/09/2013 10:42
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