Emotionally empty and a toddler that bites! Struggling!

(5 Posts)
emyjo79 Sat 14-Sep-13 07:55:10

Thank you both for your kind words I will endeavour to persist with the calm voice and the distraction. Fingers crossed. X

mammadiggingdeep Thu 12-Sep-13 20:56:21

Firstly.....so sorry that you've had such a hard year. I've had a tough 6 months post split but your list of dramas trumps mine....well done for surviving that lot!! You must be a tough cookie.

My DD hasn't gone through a biting stage but she did hit me (again only me). I'm not sure what the experts would suggest but I can tell you what I would do. I'd get down eye level, calmly say "that hurts, makes mummy sad. No. ". Then distract, distract, distract "oh wow....look at this etc er etc". Even if my daughter continued a paddy at this point I'd pretend to be intrigued/amazed at whatever I was looking at and she'd soon come and look. Be firm but still kind in your voice. You mention he's not cuddling you as much....try to make cuddle times when he's tired...extra snuggled at bedtime...nap time etc etc. It'll make u feel good as well as him.

Sorry if all this is what you're already doing....it is hard when u don't know what xp is doing with him. All you can do is be consistent and firm.
X

emyjo79 Thu 12-Sep-13 20:37:08

He's only 18 months so time out per se doesn't really work, when he bites I sit him down and walk away which then makes him cry....of course I take this on and it makes me feel sad...guess I have few reserves at the moment. It doesn't seem to be working though. I have no idea how DSs father is dealing with anything as he won't speak to me and he doesn't let me speak to my son when he's with him. Heart breaking.

queenofthepirates Tue 10-Sep-13 21:56:32

First of all, it sounds as though you have had an awful time so I hope you are taking care of you.

With regards to toddler-how are you disciplining him? Biting or hitting the one you love is quite common behaviour in toddler but when it becomes a problem, does need to be dealt with. Do you do a time out?

My DD was very similar, she belted me several times and I started using time outs and it helped enormously. Boundaries are terribly important and this reinforces the limits for a child who maybe needs them defining.

emyjo79 Tue 10-Sep-13 20:57:01

After what has been and still is a hard year emotionally, splitting from DSs father, fall it from this, finding new home, sorting finances, keeping job going, having car written off, going in for suspected appendicitis, ongoing awful communication with DSs father, verbally abusive now-ex landlord who is trying to keep my deposit! Another house move and with all of this my little boy who all I want to do is show love and happiness s not getting the best from his mummy. He bites me, and only me, he rarely cuddles me anymore and although he is a bright and generally happy child I feel at a loss not only how to cope with his behaviour change but also to try not to take on what is likely over emotional interpretation of normal toddler behaviour....struggling!

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