Because he wants to return them early on his weekend, and I'll be travelling back from visiting friends, so I asked him to arrange for his mum or someone else to help out. I'll be a 3.5 hour drive away and won't be there to collect them 2 hours early. He sees them for 48 hours a fortnight, never any more. 2 overnights a month. This is his choice.
I just needed a little rant and some sympathy about how arrogant and impossible he is, its crap when the father of your DC literally doesn't give a shit about them day to day. XH thinks it's my job to raise them, his privillege to play with them when he can be arsed.
I've made the mistake of asking for help with a big purchase once before and was told to budget better. Now, on his weekend, he expects me to change my plans to be home for them early so he doesn't have to change his own.
It's just the unbelievable wankerishness of him telling me that I should make my plans to reflect their needs, as if I don't do this every single day!!! It's him who is more or less invisible when they actually need something!
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh
Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.
Lone parents
EX instructing me to make my plans to 'reflect the DC's needs'
chocoreturns · 04/09/2013 14:48
Sympathy and 
for you. Too many of these wankers out there, I'm finding (from friends). :(
thank you, good advice. I may also call his mum (who I have a good relationship with) to prepare the ground for that one. It's just really hard not to want to punch him in the face sometimes for being such a douche.
thanks for the !!
As his parents you are both able to act in your DC's be interests. You are able to haggle, compromise and work together to achieve this.
Regular contact is in your DC's best interests - not whatever fits around his (or your) life. Some flexibility is OK of course...life isn't always predictable but where ever reasonable possible there should be structure.
From your post, I'd say `What Balia says'. 
Oh lord choco, I could have written your post. Another 'superdad' who takes them overnight for 2 nights per month; often delegating that joyful task to his mother (from whom he learnt that women exist to indulge and revolve around him) as he is 'so busy/stressed/tired/deserves one night out'.
But I've learned not to engage.
If I agreed to come back 2 hours early (and I have made that mistake) then it becomes the norm that he changes times to suit himself.
If I dont, then I'm being inflexible.
As lostdad says, one should be able to haggle and compromise for the children's best interest, but there are men for whom contact with the children is another weapon in the war against their mother.
It seems that you are in the latter situation.
I use the MN classic 'No'....it is a complete sentence 
The main principle is the best interests of the child'.<br /> <br /> I've watched my ex insist on sitting in the cold while it rained rain with our son on her lap rather than allow him son to get in my car (with or without her!) because it isn't time for my' contact. 
That's an extreme example of inflexibility when it's better to be.
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