court, counselling?? Help ):

(6 Posts)
mummykayxx Thu 18-Jul-13 13:59:10

son's dad keeps letting him down/changing days/not turning up/seeing him when he feels like it/purposely do things to make things difficult. I have tried talking about it but he is so immature and doesn't care. Don't want to stop him from seeing him but sick of my baby getting messed around. anyone know what my options are? so angry ):

Lonecatwithkitten Thu 18-Jul-13 16:23:52

Even with a court order no one can make him turn up for contact unfortunatly. What age is your son? Counselling can really help my DD received some arranged through her school. Most counselling is confidential so it did help my DD, but a year later I have no idea what was said.

mummykayxx Thu 18-Jul-13 17:27:40

he's 2. was thinking some sort of mediation counselling for me and his dad

Lonecatwithkitten Thu 18-Jul-13 17:53:22

Mediation and counselling are two different things.
Mediation is designed to help you both make your point and hopefully to reach a common goal. Most often you are referred to a mediation service by a solicitor.

betterthanever Thu 18-Jul-13 18:11:04

I don't think there is anything you can do about him not turning up at the moment but I would suggest that set days/times are agreed between you and `you' stick to them, you refuse to change them and so if he misses he doesn't get contact that day/week. Things may then improve. Flexibility is great but it has to be two way - it doesn't seem it is at the moment. If things don't improve and contact lessens, then again there isn't much you can do as a court order would not `make' him stick to it but at least you and your DS can get on with life and your DS has some structure. At 2 he isn't going to really understand that his dad is coming to see him at set times/days - I would perhaps not mention he is coming to see him so he doesn't feel let down. As long as he has his routine with you he will be fine. It is better to try and sort things out now while he is young.

TurnipIsTaken Sat 20-Jul-13 16:30:56

Agree with betterthanever. Email him with proposed regular days and times, if he doesn't turn up within 30 mins and no phonecall get on with your day. This is in your son's best interests and will stop you from being driven loopy, which is also in your son's best interest!

Keep the emails and start a diary of when he has not turned up etc. You can use it as evidence if he turns around and tries to say you haven't let him see ds.

Some places have family mediation you can contact yourself. If you have a local children's centre that is a good place to enquire about it. They might even be able to see you on your own if he won't go, to check that what you are proposing is fair.

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