I am just after some advice and to have a bit of a rant.
I have my dd 95 % of the time and my ex sees her once on a school night for tea which normally lasts about 25 mins. He also has her from 4:30 on Saturday till about 1 on a Sunday I have offered him more but he is not interested. Anyway since she has started school I have managed to cover all of the school holidays either putting her into a child minder who she loves or taking the time off myself. Now it has come to the summer holidays and I was totally stuck I have got two weeks off with her, organised playscheme and pony club for another two weeks and a week with the childminder. It has cost me a fortune. I asked him if he could have her for a few days and he has decided he can spare himself in his words for 4 days. So I got in touch to try and organise these four days, she does not want to stay with him overnight for these four days as she is used to one day and in her words she doesnt want to stay away for so long, so I explained this and got told she is either with me or she is not. I have offered to drop her off every morning and then he can drop her off at night time, she has said she will stay over one night when her half sister is there. Basically if she does not stay for the four days he wont have her. Should I be forcing her to stay over when she obviously doesnt want to, she got really upset when I asked her.
Another sticking point is in his eyes when she is with him, the rest of her life does not exist that she has with me, she has a pony on loan and when asked if he would be able to take her to sort him out I was told that part of her life does not exist , and she would not be going to her pony, he doesnt attend school plays etc because that is not on his time. While I do think he should spend time with her I dont understand the I am not having anything to do with her life outside me and it is certainly not fair on her to miss out because her dad does not want to take her.
He seems to think he can pick and choose when and what activities he can play dad with and its driving me crazy, surely my dd should be the priority at the end of the day ?
Of course she is the priority. What an unreasonable lazy knob. The pony does not exist....I am just ! Does he also refuse to chat up her about all this? Sorry I don't have the answers just wanted you to know yanbu poor dd
It'd be great to say 'just find paid care' in those 4 days and sod him but it's not that easy when struggling as it is ... god men fuck me off that don't support the mums ... as if it's not hard enough as it is without the added stress of having a fucktard as the other parent
I know none of that helps ... I'm venting with you